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Sold 2009 BMW F800GS

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Pannas

Race Dog
Joined
Sep 15, 2009
Messages
3,117
Reaction score
852
Location
Durbanville
Bike
Suzuki DL 1000 V-Strom
IIIHGT - STOP SCROLLING - SIT UP STRAIGHT AND TAKE NOTE
If you've been looking for that perfect 800GS - here it is.

- Yacugar progressive suspension – front and back - completely overhauled by Martin Petzhold Racing on 06.10.21 - new seals, oil, re-chromed… all the important shit is new - to compensate for that saggy ass of yours (original springs available if you want them).
- Also has that shock block protector thingy in. Ask Chris from Flying Brick about it….
- Wheel bearings were replaced on the 02.08.21.
- Steering neck bearings were done at 18.08.21
- Brand new fresh clean air filter – the lungs have been de-Gunstoned.
- New-ish yellow Motobatt gel battery – Eskom fucking you around? Hook up your TV on this dude so you can continue watching Paige Spiranac (yaah - thank me later)
- Rockfox front crash bars – vir wanneer jy om bliksem.
- Krauser pannier racks – which doubles as crash bars – if mommy wants to tag along and now you have to cart all her shit – of vir wanneer jy om bliksem.
- Comes with matching aluminum Trax top box and Krauser panniers – for above mentioned mommy’s shit, or a bottle of Jagermeister with 4 bags of ice.
I'm not gonna lie - the panniers look like shit - they've worked harder than the entire ANC in the last 20 years. The racks and panniers are not on the bike at the moment - that's your choice to fit them or not.
- Moerse belly pan / bash plate – whatever you wanna call it – for those 5ft deep potholes (which the progressive suspension should take care of)
- Careful with these spotlights – you’ll flag down a 747, should you accidentally wheelie this thing.
- Touring screen – cause I’m a tall mofo – comes with the std. screen if you prefer the Johnny Bravo look.
- You have the choice of a Standard GS seat - or a higher, thicker padded seat (for the fellow tall mfers).
- Tyres are fine – I’ll throw in an extra rear tyre for you, as well as a set of extra tubes.
- The Cat has been removed – those hot toxic gasses pass through rapidly and effortlessly – much like last night’s habanero chilli.
- Chain and sprockets are new – D.I.D. ZVMX chain – translation = it’s the best of the best of the best (yes Captain America!) – the Binder boys only race with this shit.
- Typical clunky bmw gearbox? Nah-ah not this one – you’ll easily confuse it for your Saturday morning toast Lurpak.
- Clutch is smoother than Chloe + Kim’s panty lines after salon day.
- Large sidestand footprint – because who doesn’t like a bigger camel toe?
- Headlight covers.
- Grip ups or pups or whatever these things are called… for your delicate limp wrist pen pushing Dawn creamed hands.
- And just about all the shit from the entire 800GS section in the Touratech catalogue, I’m obliged to write a poem about – see the photos.
- BOTH heated grips work – like your sirloin medium rare? Wrap that slab of A-grade grain fed bovine around these puppies on roast, and enjoy that juicy warm pinkness on the inside; we’re still talking about steak here you narf.
- DO NOT let the kms put you off – she purrs like the machine that make the Swiss clocks.
Full service history - she was serviced with Ravenol full synth 5W40 at 80090 kms on 21.05.22. I only go to The Bike House – Stewart is a fucking moto wizard – and I urge the next owner to continue using my man.
This thing got so much torque – it’ll pull Nick Cannon clean off his next baby mama – in 4th gear.
Seriously, I had to marshal two events 10 + 11 December – did 737 kms in two days – this thing pulls cleanly from idle, delivering effortless endless continues smooth torque all the way to 5000 rpm (cause that’s where I take it to – no need to go further – that tacho has rarely gone past the 6K mark)
Just imagine… if my wife took care of me, the way I do this bike… one can only dream…
- If you ride like you have your crush on the back for the first time, it’ll give you 24 k’s per liter.
Best figures I got, was 25.619 km/l, cruising back from Stanford at about 110 odd…
- I’ll throw in the service book, spare keys, 3 sets of half used brake pads and a 30-year-old ribbed durex.

Now, given the fucken ridiculous prices that are being asked for these bikes nowadays and considering all the top notch shit that you get with it, I really don’t think my R78K –or there about- asking price is all that unrealistic, for peace of mind get-on-and-go.
It’s ssssssorted with a capital S – you don’t have to spend a cent - get on, fill it up and ride to fucking Cairo if you want - go piss on the Sphinx - and then ride it back again.
I’ll provide the roadworthy – and will (at your cost, you pay for the new disc) put it on your name as well.
For future small shitty maintenance consumables, like brake pads, chain + sprockets, whatever – come back to me – I’ll put that shit on for you at no cost – and I’ll probably get it cheaper than what you would pay for it, cause I know where to go shop – and I have a reliable contact for any spray painting needs – if Graphite Gray is not for you.

Spring gou-gou maatjies – die tipe kak kom nie elke dag voor nie.
Phone me, pm, dm, sms, email, serenade me in C-minor, carrier pigeon, bongo drums, or fucking smoke signals…. Whatever. O83 391 54OO [email protected]

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