Australia.... The Island Saga...TwoOhTuTu

BOZO

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And that’s how we got to 23 December 2021…..
Christmas and New Years pass as per usual, slow lonely and the same as any other year.
January – March was going to be an interesting time as I was going to be travelling and Wonder woman was starting her new job, as a MMWC (main manne what counts).
In early January Trenticles moved out of the house to go and live closer to his mates and a more central area to get to work, no car remember. Being a first-time renter with no track history and 19 years old is not an easy exercise finding a place to live. We (he) eventually found a place that has been commissioned for demolition so while the owners are waiting for the government to do whatever they do the house was up for rent for 6 months… well this works out perfectly. After all I know the aftereffects of a party in the back garden let alone in the house. Trees that get randomly cut down, broken pool tables, pool cues, steel cupboards with dents, broken helmets, loud music till 3 am, MacDonalds packets filling my recycling bin and lets not talk about the missing petrol and coincidently the burnt grass and gazebo.
Annnnyyyyyhooooooooooo…… The effects of having a man child move out of the house are, hmmmm how do I put this? FUCKEN AWESOME!!!  It took exactly 3 hours for SpiderPig to move into Tentacles’ old room and Wonder Woman to move her office into SpiderPig’s room.
Somehow in between all this mayhem of moving shit around we got covid. I know this is no laughing matter as we have all sot someone close to us through this pandemic but, watching Trenticles feign a cataclysmic illness on a grand scale, lying on the lounge room floor is entertaining to say the least, the solution to get him to go to his room was to order KFC.  Done and dusted.
Eventually it was time to go and I was packing bags, organizing Covid tests, hotels, yada yada yada. The joys of international travel. I have already told you about my Abu Dhabi experience and one day when this goes into book format, I will get the order correct.
While in Abu, I worked with a group of people, one was the client, then us, the implementers and then some consulting company. If you ever want to take a perfectly good contract and fuck it up, hire a third consulting company, make them German, don’t give them a specific memorandum and then add one more level by ensuring that the client has sub-clients. All I can say is OMG…… 2 weeks of hell. And the beer was $15 aus for one. What? You must be shitting me……. $15 for one beer? Yes. $15 and it was Budweiser. 
I had been speaking to Wonder Woman on an almost daily basis. Her Job was/is full on, and she is learning the rope’s.  Dealing with a long commute to work in the Melbourne traffic is not fun, living with the guilt of leaving RooDog at home the whole day was not helping. After all, RooDog is a covid dog and has always had someone at home. Lest just say it was an adjustment phase for all of us.
Before I left, I asked Trenticles to please come home at least once a week to look after my grass, I would pay him with beer and food. And this is when shit started to go wrong.
After one week the lawnmower “broke”, I have been using that lawnmower for 4 years, not one moments issue. The knuckle dragging neanderthal uses it once and breaks it. Trouble shooting a lawnmower over WhatsApp with a 9-hour time difference is not a solution. Then, wait for it…… the weed-eater, whipper snippper, cord runs out. Trouble shooting how to put more cord into the weed eater over WhatsApp with a 9-hour time difference is not a solution. He kept winding on but in the wrong direction so when he turned it on all the cord jumped off the holder, FML……….. So now Wonder Woman has to borrow a lawnmower from The Burn…..
Then RooDog gets depressed and an eye infection, so Wonder Woman has to rush her to the vet. RooDog gets a cone.
Its only been ten days since I have left…. What more can go wrong? Oh my friends. If you have time continue to cast your eyes across these pages of misfortune.
Eventually it’s time for me to fly to South Africa, I’m super excited, below is a multiple-choice question you can choose which is the most correct.
a. To see Family
b. To see Friends
c. To sit in the African bush
d. To enjoy the African sun on my face
e. To drink ice cold castle, black label etc
f. To smoke my favorite ciggies at a 1/10 of the price
g. To drive at 120km/h
h. To get friendly service at a bar/restaurant
i. To eat biltong
j. To have thick cut steaks from the butcher
k. To swear in Afrikaans and chuckle because people understand it
Well if you have not guessed it yet the answer is all of them, together, all the time. Sure I worked after all it wasn’t a holiday, but after work I tired to cram as much of the above into every day.
AAAAAAANNNNNYYYYYYYYYHOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I eventually land in SA on the Friday afternoon, I call Wonder Woman to let her know that I have made it through all the border control points and that the man with the rubber glove was, surprisingly, gentle.  We were on our way to the farm and I would chat to her the next day.
Saturday morning comes around SA time 07:00 / Aus. Time 16:00 I send a WhatsApp of the sunrise telling her how much I love her and miss her……. No answer, nada, nothing. In fact, there is no tick to say the message has gone through. Strange!!!!…….. Fast forward a few hours.  Trenticles calls:
“Hey Dad, big kak here!” is how the conversation starts.
“Oh no! What the problem?” I say.
“Mom cant call you anymore as her phone has been stolen!” is his reply.
Shew that’s not so bad I breathe a sigh of relief. It’s not as bad as I had imagined in 0.5 seconds. We had a long conversation which I will summarize for you.
Saturday afternoon, all the jobs are just about done, washing clothes was all that was left. Wonder Woman was on the veranda and had just got up to check on the clothes, she went inside when she heard this god almighty scream. Some fucken druggo rando, was sprinting up the driveway, shouting call “000, he’s trying to kill me!!” Wonder Woman had the good sense of mind to immediately slam and lock the sliding door. Another fucken druggo rando, was in hot pursuit wielding what can only be described as a modern-day assegai, it was a broom stick with steak knives taped to the end.  RooDog was stuck outside, Wonder Woman was inside, her phone, with all her bank cards, including drives license, was outside on the table. Lucky, and I’m 100% serous when I say this, lucky SpiderPig was home AND his phone was charged. Wonder Woman, called “000” and they dispatched the Police to come and help. In the meantime druggo rando one had locked himself in the garage, and was rummaging through my tools looking for a weapon of sorts. He had been stabbed already and was bleeding everywhere, who the fuck is going to clean that up??!! Druggo rando number two, realizing that try as you must you cant cut open a steel door with a home made shiv, decided to see what he could steal. This slime bag, oxygen thief, took Wonder Woman’s phone, RooDogs kit bag with her leash and collar, and wait for it…… the nail clippers. He must have heard the Po-Po coming and decided it was time to turf his weapon so he threw it at Flappy paddles denting the door and fled like a looter in Kwazulu-Natal!  The Coppers arrived and arrested druggo rando one. Lucky, and again… I’m 100% serous when I say this. Lucky the cops were there before Trenticles arrived as I think there would have been more than one person in handcuffs, and one of them would have been in hospital for a very long time.
Just so you know I’m not bullshitting you please see the pictures below. Oh and the hammer is mine that druggo rando one was going to use.
   

And that’s not all that happened…….. No.
At some point. On all of this mess, the wind was blowing so hard that it blew my gate closed, so hard that the gate came off its hinges and now I have to replace the gate. My first quote for a new gate…….
Wait for it……… $7800.00 you have to be shitting me. R78 000.00 for a fucking gate!!!!!!!!!!!!
There’s more but I’m tired now
 

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BOZO

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Crankshaft said:
Fok dit gaan ook maar rof daar in Auz. :eek: :deal:
Lol, ya just when we thought that we had moved to a nice quiet spot. Well I suppose the convicts need their sport. [emoji23]


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Crankshaft

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BOZO said:
Crankshaft said:
Fok dit gaan ook maar rof daar in Auz. :eek: :deal:
Lol, ya just when we thought that we had moved to a nice quiet spot. Well I suppose the convicts need their sport. [emoji23]


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Pro

😂😂😂
 

BOZO

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You know when you are bored and you search for the most difficult game of FreeCell!
1freecell.JPG


And then you win it!!!


freecell.JPG

I'm a god!!! clearly a bored one !
 

BOZO

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Well, its been a while since I have used the PC / Computer. Usually I catch up with tapatalk, but that no longer works with the new forum update.
While its been great to not look at a PC for about a month its good to be back and be able catch up on WD etc..
Over the next few days I will put in some updates of the activities that I have been upto.
Also it's voting time here on the island and although I dont generally follow politics, Scomo and Albo are supplying some good humor!
 

BOZO

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Do you know how long it takes to copy 500gb of data over a wi-fi!!!!!!!
LONG, VERY VERY LONG..... :poop:


Stories comming up:
I managed to find a guy to assist with my automatic gate. Nearly lost my fingertips on that one.
Went for a flight to Brizzy, got stuck at the airport, got home at 00:45 am. I think Im cursed when it comes to travel!
Got roped into running a 21km at the end of the month...... eish.

Maby by then my data will be done copying over the wi-fi.
 

BOZO

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Ya, Im Screwed...... cause the help files dont help this guy.
Two oh tu tu is going to have to stay now.
If I had known that i would have chosen a better title.
Somthing like... Living in Straya "Bloody oath Mate"
🤣😂🤣😂
 
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