Getting back on the Saddle after accident?

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PaSeADV

Pack Dog
Joined
Apr 8, 2022
Messages
115
Reaction score
56
Location
JHB
Bike
BMW R1200GS Adventure
Hi All

Want to get some opinions on this scenario. I was involved in a motorcycle accident one and a half years ago.
Contractor bakkie drove in front of me which resulted in a head-on accident at estimate 60km/ph. I traveled through air and landed next to road 30meters from where accident happened (still cant believe that a 120kg body can be flinged like that). I was one of the lucky ones where the expensive helmet I had (bought a week earlier) and the full adventure suit I wore protected me very well. About 5x of my fingers burst open from the impact on the road and suffered a shoulder injury. It took me months of dam hard work and pain of recovery (and still in progress) to get my fingers at least to 70% of the state it was before whilst the wounds was busy healing. Shoulder is also ongoing issue and me and local physio know each other extremely well by now due to the many visits. It was really a terrible time as I hard to learn work differently with my hands (IT related work on keyboard) and could not sit for more than 30min due to shoulder. Bike was written off and financially did not get much back for it + lost on all the kit I invested the previous few months for a road trip planned.

To get to the point now. Regardless of above, I still cannot get myself over the fact of the way riding this bike made me feel and some of the gravel adventures I went of with some of the members here. I remember working on stressful projects and sometimes just hoping on the bike and driving to cullinan, heidelberg, kittyhawk for a change of scenery working out of a coffee shop and the amount of clarity the drive gave me. I felt so free and light and honestly not something I could explain to someone else at times.

I however cannot shake the fear when this all happened to me to get seriously injured or perhaps worse and let my young family be without me to protect and provide. I cannot shake the fear each time I cross a intersection or drive through same area to get some trauma and relive the episode. I constantly am aware of my surroundings now in the car to a point where it drives me crazy. I have weighed the pro's and con's and just cannot take the risk of going through this again and the worse happen and in result my family would suffer from this. Family member of a friend is paralyzed due to accident and have seen the hell that family goes through.

Yet all this said, I recall the way it made me feel and how much peace it gave me. I do not want to be selfish and put my needs and wants above my family but at times I can spend a hour long looking at bikes again. Interested to hear other opinions on this topic and even some that have gone through this. PS: Excuse the grammar and spelling.
 
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