Two girls, one cup.... ( of oil ) the airheads tale

The intro phase: 

My love for vintage beemers seem to grow more and more and one can only dream of "that ideal classic". In my case, that would be a /2 model.
A good couple of months ago, Redwolf induced mixed feelings of love and lust when he advertised his R60... But still, it was out of my price range for "another bike". So the dream collapsed.

A month ago I saw a tatty looking R50 resting at my local shopping mall and the lust revived itself inside.. I posted a pic on WD of this sighting , only to be greeted by a PM message by the evil Redwolf. "there's a R50 for sale in pretoria...for a good price, but be warned, shes been around the block". Blocking all attempts to put me off, I was on the 05:45 flight from Cape Town to Jozi the very next morning. In my rental, and off to Pretoors.. As much as I convinced myself "this is a awesome buy", deep down beyond the lust and love for airheads, I knew that even I had my limits when it comes to buying possible elephants. This, in my opinion, was just that. She was better off donating her organs to a builder in part-need. So head down, shoulders low, I departed the scene of the ever so close lust filler. 
Tring tring... Its Redwolf.." did you buy??" obviously the tone in my voice need not be backed up by confirmation.  "stay there and i'm on my way... I'll cheer you up...i have just the thing! " Two minutes later the wolf takes the corner and asks me to follow him. " I'm gonna take you to a place of happiness...a place of tranquility and serenity". Montana. Not just Montana, but a house in Montana housing a small family of german classics. So he stops halfway there and we have a briefing... 
"die omie het n paar fietsies wat jy gaan like.. n Tydjie terug is sy bakkie gesteel, en hy wil dit vervang, wat gaan beteken dat hy dalk een van sy fietsbabas sal moet verkoop". I'm in luck !! Probably the first and only time crime will pay for me! Off we go. 

What I was greeted with, was like something out of a (regular ) dream... Beemers. airheads....lots of them. They are everywhere! From single 250cc airheads to R60's. I dont know where to look and what to drool on first. Now the gents frequenting the AIRHEAD section on WD, will understand. If you show me 100 of the prettiest Alfa's, it might grab me for a grand total of 30 seconds. But different strokes as they say, and these beemers make me tick. 





Short story long, after a 4hr visit, I have talked the omie into selling me a R50/2 and a R75/6. Die mooi een met die speekwiele! 
My future R50/2...



Deal done and off i go, reverse route to the cape. 

The planning phase...

I immediately share my find with fellow boxer lovers and soon after get a call from Dappermuis ( currently box building a R90)... "so how are you getting them here?". To which i answer without thinking twice..."riding her here obviously!" That got Dappermuis dancing like he was on fire! " cool!!! Then I will ride my royal enfield up this weekend and ride down with you!". 

That was easily said..but easily done. 1x mouse did exactly that. With enfield up there, the planning started. As we planned and planned we discussed what could and might possibly go wrong with such a classic.. And Being half a century old, it was likely. ! So i called the "omie" to ask his take on the R50/2's technical status, and informing him of my planned epic journey to  zille ville. And without hesitating, in his most decent blou bul accent he replied.. " ou Freek en dink glad nie dis n goeie idee nie. Dink dis beter as jy haar afstuur en bietjie kafee toe en terug ry tot jy haar goed ken." But me being me, i politely accepted and declined the warning. Kaap toe sal sy Ry! The bike was dormant for 10 plus years, and since rebuild, has done a grand total of 60km.... In and around his house....that was a concern...

So DM and I start the emailing back and forth.. And the list grows. Tubes, tyre levers, wire, fuses,bolts, nuts, globes, tape ( every kind possible ! ) and so the list grows. Not long and we decided no trip is epic without pitching a tent. So tents and sleeping bags are added. 

Eventually... ;D

Execution: 

Wednesday evening, all packed and ready to rumble.  
I dust the old road helmet and ask my helper to try it on..



I will fly the next morning and use all of thursday to sort out payment, docs, and find a temp house for the R75/2. Until she too can come home. Wednesday evening, i call the Oom to check all is in order... " freek die flippen bike wil nie start nie". I fell to pieces! How is that possible??? He didnt want to tell me, but the issue was lingering for a few days already, but he was sure he could fix it.. He suggests we postpone..but its too late. Tickets booked, time off work etc... It must happen. 
So off i go thursday morning. Lovely day to fetch my new girlfriend.. 





Get to pretoria ( via gautrain) and there's Redwolf.





My chauffeur to my loverbike.



We spend the better part of thursday going through everything possible. Timing, fuel, carbs you name it. Eventually she runs...on one cylinder only. Last thing to check...spark plugs. True as nuts, dead plug. Replace that and she runs. Not like a lady, but more like a hungover,infected prostitute. Coughing and spitting, farting and generally disappointing.. But its too late. I'll take her. To go thanks!  Time now : 15:00.  DM kindly organised diggs with a mate on a small holding approx 20km from montana. He will only arrive at 22:00 at lanseria, and must then drive to his brothers house to fetch his bike. 
So lost, hungry, and unfamiliar with the area or the host, i set off... Alone, on my R50 heading east on Zambezi drive. Eventually I find the workplace of my "host" , Theo. The man is buzzing around like a blue ass fly, but in between hands me the keys to his bakkie to go back and fetch the R75.




off I go back to Montana. By now very tired, and VERY thirsty. Load the bike and back to his work.



Both babies next to each other... Bound for the cape!



Just a quick stop en route for a case of the best.. Some black labels as a gift to my host for helping out and supplying a place of rest for my overworked head. 

19:00... Its dark, its cold and I'm following Theo on through my mistress to his small holding. Just  for shits and giggles, a bit if gravel road is chucked into the deal. All I can think about is that case of beers..

After a great meal, and one or maybe 10 beers, and good laughs, i am off to bed. Wake up at 3am...i hear the dappermuis not sounding so dapper anymore. He arrived. He made it. And sounds like he is packing. I play dead...i need sleep.  

Departure : 
5am, and alarm screaming in my ear. Up we get, pack, coffee, and ready to go. 
I walk outside to see the weirdest looking enfield.. It grew a boob overnight! ?? Single 500cc turned into a V twin 1000 classic? Huh?? But thats a Guzzi?? To which I was informed.. Change of plan.. The guzzi belongs to his brother and she needs to clear her throat. And a trip to the cape will do just that!  She will arrive in cape town to receive some dappermuis love and revived beyond her wildest dreams.. So thats that.. Its a beemer and a Guzzi...82 model...the california... Nogal the " II " model ! 



A short meeting is had and its agreed that this will probably NOT go smooth, not be easy and as long as 50% of the two riders stay positive, even at different times, all will be well. We will fix what we break, and also fix what broke on its own accord.. 

Here we go!!!!!

......

Or not just yet...

Guzzi has a flattery.... And we both disguise the worry eyes under the search for jumper leads..which was packed too ( not by me, as I dont have the luxury of electric start anyway...so mr mouse must have had a hunch !) 



Okay now we go!!!!! its a stunning day!



Pretoria, to fourways as i must quickly meet someone at 7am and be out of there at 07:20..... Or not!! 

5 mins out of our nitestop spot... Beemer is dead.... Fuel.... None of it! I guess the "half tank" wasnt quite as "half"...
There goes DM to fetch some fuel. Great start.... But i take the gap to snap.




Traffic...

About 9am and the two of us are deep into conversation at the fourways sasol garage.. Our love for...simply put...talking kak extensively, will still cost us dearly on this trip. 

Pretoria, fourways, heidelberg, villiers, frankfort, reitz, bethlehem, fouriesburg, ficksburg, ladybrand, hobhouse, wepener, zastron, rouxville, alival north. Thats the plan for day one. 
But barely out of heidelberg, and metro does his raindance on the highway.... Stopped we are... But to our surprise, its all smiles. More curious aboutbour route, the bikes and its history than any legalities and roadworthy aspects.  So yes..for a brief second my lack of turn signals worried me, but it was replaced by a request to have his picture taken next to my bike... 



Off we go.. 

Every town we feel the need to yet again, talk lots and lots of kak, and unbeknown to us, our 2 minute conversations turn into ten times that.. Obviously two okes on a similar page, and enjoying adventure for being just that...





Approaching fouriesburg... Something seems to be wrong with the sun... Its setting...





O crap! We chatted so much that we didnt do half of what we planned.. But the mornings briefing was quickly reinstated, and there was decided that all is well and we will make up time tomorrow and speak less shit.







We find a lekke guest house, with about 20 hardcore bikers parked outside. Great! Lets join in! We park our hogs, and proceed inside.. Only to be greeted by 20 odd mean ass "adventure bikers". Most dressed for a fox gear film shoot and enjoying a lager still wearing their leatts.. Guess drinking is also not as safe as it used to be! Both of us are overwhelmed by a feeling of being very unwelcome, and eye contact between us confirmed  it.. Stick your beer and your stories, we will go and talk kak somewhere else! We are good at it anyway! 
I learned a very important lesson that day. As i have also been the "adventurer" in my mx boots sipping on a frostie and tend to mingle with similar gradient "adventurers". But it hit me, i'm ten times as tired as i would be on a big bike, and its 50 times the effort to just keep yourself clear of trucks and hazards. Everything must be planned..you dont just overtake, you plan it.. 
Only now realised the balls needed to execute a ride where the big dogs ride,on a 125 XL, enfield or similar smaller beast. 

Local campsite found,and camp made.. Luckily we planned for the unforeseen and  bought some meat and 2 sterri stumpies for the next morning. 



The guzzi kindly carted a bag of wood to the site and the beers started flowing. So we spoke shit for a while... Again..

Day 2:

Early rise and off we go! We must make good ground today. A few km gravel road to the main rd again, and soon i realised the R50/2 was never designed to travel gravel... The only time i was on the road was when i crossed it. What a mission!!!! DM however sits like lord Chips on the guzzi and occasionally soak up scenery while i just try and avoid crashing into things next to the gravel road.. Best to explain it is... It must be the same ride on gravel as a unicycle on dirt. Feels like 90% of the weight is on the front wheel?! 

Off we go! Both bikes  running well and beemer actually running better, but its evident all is not well by monitoring the fuel consumption... Started off with 16km/L and now i am down to 12 ! 





I ignore it..we dont have time to fiddle... Id rather pay a bit more for fuel and have another quick stop to talk abitofshit. As we do! 

Next stop, Ficksburg. By now its bad. Its becoming a mission to ride. I have to do a certain sequence of events to pull away. I am worried! Idling is rough and she wants to die. Its time to take action!  I flag DM down and by my body language i am sure he can see its not good.. I am quite negative and tired of nursing her to ensure a smooth ride.. "it is simple! We pull both carbs off, and overhaul them if we have to!". Thats what i needed to hear! So i pop into the shop and find us some strong coffee and zarms for breakfast. By the time i come out, the R50 is back into kit form!  Carb pieces everywhere. But spirits are high and we are determined to fix the issue. About two hours later, after assembling carbs and talking a bit of shit, we saddle up. By now have also come to realise, its not just mechanical. The guzzi ( note not the bm) started to ping badly and also experiencing power delivery issues. We realise the importance of air and discover the lack of it at those high altitudes are causing havoc! 
But the good news is my bike is 110% !! Running like a dream. So on we push! 
Ladybrand next.. We fill up there, and admire the lack of scenery, when DM kept reminding me about the crap bing carbs and how awesome the italians make theirs, when I calmly remarked..." hey DM .... What about that significant puddle Of oil under the guzzi?". Which puddle???


....THAT puddle! 




Time to turn the attention off my bike....

This hand was supposed to block the lens from snapping oil spills... Too late ma man...gotcha!!




The oil drips from the breather...fast! Must be honest, i can do many things when it comes to fixing bikes, but this had me worried! This seems big! But i remember the briefing..and its my  job to keep his spirits high! So off comes the tank and covers! 



Ideas fly around the filling station, but the one that sank my smile was: " i think we should consider finding a truck or trailer and ship her to bloem... Then catch a flight home. And find a way to get guzzi to the cape. ". Thats bad... Bad for me too! I would have to finish the trip alone and..... Sans my compadre. ! 
So i say it : "DM... WE HAVE TO FIX IT! ". 

He accepted gladly. Off comes oil / breather pipes and the cleaning begins. But a fault is nowhere to be found?  Some pipes seemed blocked, but we couldnt be sure.. 



As a precaution, we pooratech a "dry sump" mod. Extended the oil breather and run it into a 500ml clear coke bottle.. I will ride next to him and advise when bottle is nearing full. We will stop and decant oil back into engine. The theory is, as long as there is oil to be vented, there is oil to do its job! 
Buttoned the guzzi up, and off we went. Incidently, from there to cape town, the breather didnt vent one ml of oil ?? So whatever was done, fixed the problem. The plan was to nurse the guzzi from here on..but that didnt last long as DM  cruised passed me about 20min later with feet on the crashbars and heading for 140kph! 
Good to see he got his guzzimojo back. 
By now we have lost 5 hours between my carb refurb and the ever so slight oil leak...



We klap it to  Rouxville, where we whip out the old atlas and start to realise the depth of the shit we are in.. We are far from home with the sun setting yet again.... 
Through the padded helmet he could barely hear me mocking him and blaming the italian stallion for our loss of time due to "maintainance". 
About 5 seconds later i push my bike off the centre stand and i hear KLUNK!! Shortly followed by DM jumping off his bike and running over. It looked serious judging by his approach speed.. It was too! It was a photomoment he couldnt pass on... Out came the blackberry and snap snap... Photo of my Broken centre stand spring was shoved under my nose...  
Then i realised... We werent alone...  I Had a pillion And her name was Karma. She was a bitch!  So i decided to shut up and ride rather...

We decide to push on to gariep dam and onl stop for fuel. Thats easier said than done, as these old bikes have a habit of gnawing at you ass bones over 90 constant kms. But i kept telling myself... Suck it up cupcake... This is uncomfortable as all hell, but still Better than riding in the dark with my 6volt 1/2 lumens candle power fitted to my vintage. 

Looking forward to the rest!

Off we go!

Last bit is done in the dark, and eventually we pull into gariep. Its cold, i am thirsty and i know what will be the topic that night over a beer. We are in for a hellish day 3 as its 900 km home and it MUST be done in one day..
So in 10 seconds flat we decide to ditch the tents for the night, and book into a hotel.. We frequent the bar area and talk a bit of shit over some frosties. Had a steak and make it an early night. Tomorrow is gonna be tough!

Day 3:

Alarm sounds at 4am..we must ride at 04:45. And we do! Off to colesburg.
As we step outside the reality hits us squarely! Dit is so koud soos n hoer se hart buite! Accuweather reckons minus 1 degrees. It feels more like minus 10. Too late..we must ride! And we cannot affort a breakdown or delay.

2km from colesburg and i am in real pain. Feels like my hands are stuck in a firedoor and someone is hitting them with a small hammer. Its bad. Real bad.
In to garage we pull. Stuff it... Lets first talk a bit of shit and have a coffee.
And go pooratech. We need protection form the wind!
Done..





So we ride again.. But we keep going this time. All the way to the cape.
We shake hands at the hugenot tunnel and part ways. Doing the last 20km home i had time to reflect on what we have done and how we did it. Even though i know i am riding all on my own, i keep looking in my mirror, wanting to adjust my speed for my riding partner.










Rare sight of oil being poured into a old airhead,....yeah right!



A proper bmw meerkaai moment




I have learned a few things on this trip :

Old beemers drink lots of oil over 120 kph
Zastron is a kak place
Clocolan area has more potholes than people
A guzzi is completely underrated in speed and sound ( and consumption!!)
Bmw R50's are not built for off road and gravel
Bike fairings and screens are underrated.
Biking is the best way to clear your head
You will NOT die if you wear the same underwear for more than one day
Make sure you know your bike before you set off into the wild.
You can never carry enough tools!
Choose your riding partner wisely!


In the words of the Dappermuis.... Adventure is built into the rider, not the bike.

True. I know that now.

Some pics of my QC manager at home.. Or should i say...future owner.





Meeting her new friends.






And some  fuel specs...i'm sure it will look better at 80 kph..



Yes,...thats 919 km the last day...issh babba.

Legends...  :thumleft:

that hand warmers are classic... :imaposer:

Mooi ene Freek. EK kom loer daai bikes een van die dae.  :thumleft:

.

:thumleft:

Party van julle ouens lewe my droom!!!

RedWolf said:

Legends...  :thumleft:

that hand warmers are classic... :imaposer:

Click to expand...

Se ek ook mos!!  :thumleft:

Goeie werk julle....dit sit nie in enige ou se broek om met so scooter so ver te ry nie!

Ek hou van hoe jy skryf Freek. :thumleft:

What a kekker morning read!

Baie dankie vir die deel!

Baie nice foto's en goeie storie! :thumleft:

Awesome Awesome Awesome trippie en RR Freek en Dapper Muis !!!!!!

Ek het dit nou baie geniet ek koop sommer my volgende bike ook in Joburg! :thumleft: