Okay, no broken bones… just sprains and bruises. Still, it was a rough day in the Great Rift Valley.
It’s been an eternity since I’ve been out with Atreyou but we finally got it together and made it happen. Panic and I have properly tested our XR650Rs since bringing them to Kenya a couple of months ago, but Atreyou’s spanking new Husqvarna 701 was virginal. She fairly sparkled in the early equatorial light. She needed a baptism. It was time to scratch the plastics a bit. So, we set off as usual down the Rift Valley toward Oltepesi and Mi46 via a rough stony track I’d checked out earlier in the week.
The morning was cool and misty. It has been raining, so even the boda path leading to the Ngong circuit road was tricky and unexpectedly slick in spots. Panic was the first to see his ***, slipping on his right hand side on a deceptively slick bend. The Ngong hills were fog-covered and mysterious looking, with only the faintest glimpses of the wind turbines visible in the early light.
Above: A Candelabra and the Ngong windmills hidden in fog
We rode somewhat cautiously along the road skirting the hills (which we’ve dubbed Ngong 1 for reference), deviating to a rocky and mud-puddled cut that links us up with Ngong 2 (the original road paralleling the hills) before screaming down a nice, quick road toward our trail-head.
Above: Atreyou and the 701 start the rocky day
Above: Panic wisely avoids a lorry-swallowing quagmire
The road was fast and furious and we were soon spread out, enjoying the flow. Not a lot of rocks meant good speeds and good cornerning… mostly. Atreyou and the 701 decided not to follow an abrupt left hander and blasted instead into a nice, spiky acacia, thus tallying up the bikes very first scratches and leaving his bulging bicep bedecked with bright beads of blood. Meanwhile, Panic had chosen to go an alternative route and only by luck did I hear him calling the phone asking where the hell we’d gone. I didn’t mind riding back to find him since it meant I could blast that track all over again.
Above: Fast-tracking it
With the smooth track behind us, we descended into the depth of the valley on a broken rock-strewn track past Masai bomas and beautiful rocky cliffsides. We rattled happily along and stopped to admire the green acacias, buzzing with life and well hung with phallic weaver bird nests in an empty river bed at the base of a rock-split, dry waterfall.
The descent consists of two steep, rocky drops with a small level spot in between. We’d gone down the first half with no issues. After the rest break though, things didn’t go so great for me. First of all, I nearly dropped the front wheel into a gap that I was just narrow enough to jump but just wide enough to eat your tyre if you mess it up. As I was too chickenshit to blast over it, I needed Atreyou’s help backing the BRP up from the brink (photo credit to Panic… thanks, jerky). Then after stopping to get a photo, I choose what is certainly no better or worse a section of rocky, baby-head-on-ballbearings-covered track and turn it into my own personal hell, dropping myself flat and hard onto the bowling ball sized stones along the edge, bruising and scraping myself all out of proportion to the speed or challenge of the terrain and spraining my clutch hand enough to make me cuss. It made the rest of the ride, lets say… challenging. But we went ahead.
Above: Me captured in my moment of shame…
Above: Right – Atreyou easily navigates the very corner that busted my *** and sent my wrist ligaments aflame
Wimpy wrist notwithstanding, the descent was awe-inspiring. Nice long views down the valley with the escarpment to the left and the green from recent rains evident everywhere quickened the pulse… as did the seemingly endless rolling loose stones. Sweat was pouring off of us as we finally reached the bottom and slipped and slid around in the dusty, sandpacked valley to Oltepesi for a cold Coke and petrol before crossing the Magadi road to skirt Olegorsaile to Mi-46.
Above: Panic (begrudgingly) replaces a Masai thorn fence
Above: Down to the valley
South of the Magadi road, the track was smooth again and flowing. We moved briskly along, pausing only to play in a section of bone-white dried clay and a flat plain of (thankfully dry) black cotton soil. Mountains on both sides of us and puffy white Simpsons clouds above made it an excellent stretch.
Halfway down the valley, the track climbs up on the flank of the hill, probably to avoid a muddy section farther down that on some maps shows up as a lake, and made for some interesting man vs. environment action. Atreyou was enjoying the hard scrabble track so much he decided to do a double wheel drift around a bend… losing the front at speed and gliding along the dirt on his keester like a superbiker come off on a bend. He said he’d never slid so far on dirt in his life. Nor had the Husky… she was starting to understand that, although her owner is a fan of pretty things, she would not be spared the odd tumble in the service of braaping.
Above: Atreyou and I survey the valley from our pebble track
Eventually the track merges with the main dirt road connecting Mi-46 and Magadi road. We turned west and unwound the throttles, blasting over the hard packed dirt and embedded stones. We’d warned Atreyou in advance that the track was brutality incarnate, so many stones sticking up to help you slap the tank or pinch your tubes, but the sunshine and the dust got the better of him and after about half an hour we were watching him repair a snakebite.
Above: the road looks civilized enough, but she harbors rim-bending embedded stones
Above: Working on the snakebite… a few new racing stripes to the 701’s skid plate
Above: Atreyou works on his snake bite while I rest in what shade I could manufacture at 1:31 on the equator. Such a rookie move, getting a flat where there’s no shade! :lol3
Our plan was to hit Mi-46 for a cold Coke but when we got there, the Saturday Masai market was in full swing. Hundreds of beaded pastoralists were milling about selling and buying wares and livestock. It was a circus, and our arrival looked to herald the beginning of the clown act, so we decided to give it a miss. Sometimes, you’re too beat up from the road to enjoy being the center of attention, and anyway, we had beer and goat leg waiting for us at the end of the ride.
The ride from Mi-46 continued to pound our bodies and our bikes. Unlike the previous stretch, this bit of road is washed out in many places, and covered in dried truck tracks that can teach you a lesson real quick if you try to lazily slide a tyre over them. My wrist was now in agony, jangling the nerves with every rock hit. I finally found a relatively gentle way to grip the bar and set to flying up to Olepolos, but nearly paid for it when my rear end hit me in the *** over a larger-than-it-looked bump. Arriving in Olepolos was like being rescued from being mauled by a Cape Buffalo.
Above: Just leave me here… save yourselves…
Above: Olepolos 2.8kg of mbuzi choma and a ravenous Atreyou going to town
We filled our bellies on goat, salt and chips and donned gear for the last hour’s ride home. Panic reminded us that the ride isn’t over til it’s over, and he was damn near clairvoyant on that score. Blasting past the Ngongs, up the boda track and railing along on the happy dirt that leads us home, I was enjoying myself and watching Atreyou’s light in my mirror. He was enjoying it too… and then he was gone. No light. Apparently, he wanted to give the Husky one last ding, so he hammered a big whoop and went flying… head down, feet in the air, slow-motion style, riding the front wheel before crashing in a heap, thankfully on softish dirt. It rang his bell, but he survived it. Bike didn’t seem to notice…
So the result of the day: Bruises, sprains and great memories. Luckily, it’s raining cats and dogs in Nairobi right now, so I don’t feel so bad being laid up with this fat wrist, and Atreyou is out of the country. The month of May, though, will be big for the Pigs. I’m thinking Masai Mara maybe… it’s time to branch out and race with the cheetahs! :snorting: