Reg
Pack Dog
I went for a ride to Eston this weekend to watch the Nissan sugar belt 400 off-road race. There I found an excellent recipe for generating a good cheer.
Ingredients
1 x Honda Varadero
2 x 90% road tires
1 x 4x4
1 x rocky gravel road
1 x easy/medium corner
15 x spectators
2 x ounces of realization
1 x ounce of fear and absolute terror.
1 x ounce of instinct
2 x ounces of blind luck
1 x new pair of underpants
2 x cigarettes
Method:
Proceed down the road with great trepidation, the tires you have on the bike do not agree with the road surface. Now add the corner and simultaneously add the oncoming 4x4. If added correctly, the 4x4 will push you wide on the corner, now add one ounce of realization, in knowing that you have now been pushed on the collection of gravel and stones built up on the side of the road, at this current speed and trajectory it will be impossible to make the corner without falling. You instantly evaluate your circumstances and leave the road, as this surface appears to be better.
Now add the second ounce of realization as the bike goes into a broad slide and you realize that you about to fall. Now add the ounce of fear and absolute terror, stir well.
Add the instinct and blind luck, mix in gently. What goes through your mind is amazing, this all happens in a split second, but with your annual supply of adrenalin coursing through your veins, things work well. It went something like this,
- Slide , think about the fact that you only have jeans on, this is going to hurt.
- Point the bike in the correct direction, feather the throttle, oops to far
- Continue the slide, you have just been thrown clear of the seat and are going to fall, put your foot down and get back on the bike, point the bike in the correct direction, give the throttle another squirt. The thought goes through your head, what is this going to cost me in repairs, what will my wife say? Point and squirt, point and squirt, point and squirtâ?¦.. made it, what a relief.
Compose yourself and wave to the cheering spectators who all saw your great skill in controlling a tank slapper. Stop the bike at the first possible opportunity.
Once the mix is complete, add the two cigarettes in quick succession, if required, find a bush and replace underpants.
This is a once off recipe and is not to be tried at home.
Some pics:
Ingredients
1 x Honda Varadero
2 x 90% road tires
1 x 4x4
1 x rocky gravel road
1 x easy/medium corner
15 x spectators
2 x ounces of realization
1 x ounce of fear and absolute terror.
1 x ounce of instinct
2 x ounces of blind luck
1 x new pair of underpants
2 x cigarettes
Method:
Proceed down the road with great trepidation, the tires you have on the bike do not agree with the road surface. Now add the corner and simultaneously add the oncoming 4x4. If added correctly, the 4x4 will push you wide on the corner, now add one ounce of realization, in knowing that you have now been pushed on the collection of gravel and stones built up on the side of the road, at this current speed and trajectory it will be impossible to make the corner without falling. You instantly evaluate your circumstances and leave the road, as this surface appears to be better.
Now add the second ounce of realization as the bike goes into a broad slide and you realize that you about to fall. Now add the ounce of fear and absolute terror, stir well.
Add the instinct and blind luck, mix in gently. What goes through your mind is amazing, this all happens in a split second, but with your annual supply of adrenalin coursing through your veins, things work well. It went something like this,
- Slide , think about the fact that you only have jeans on, this is going to hurt.
- Point the bike in the correct direction, feather the throttle, oops to far
- Continue the slide, you have just been thrown clear of the seat and are going to fall, put your foot down and get back on the bike, point the bike in the correct direction, give the throttle another squirt. The thought goes through your head, what is this going to cost me in repairs, what will my wife say? Point and squirt, point and squirt, point and squirtâ?¦.. made it, what a relief.
Compose yourself and wave to the cheering spectators who all saw your great skill in controlling a tank slapper. Stop the bike at the first possible opportunity.
Once the mix is complete, add the two cigarettes in quick succession, if required, find a bush and replace underpants.
This is a once off recipe and is not to be tried at home.
Some pics:
