Kaokoland: I was tired of reading about it!!!

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Rickus...PM away :thumleft:

2TDan...baie dankie vir die regmaak van die headlightstay :thumleft:...die koffie was ook lekker en die geselskap OK :pot:

Thank you to all the rest for the compliments and I am glad you are enjoying it.

 
Day 13: The long road of attrition home

Now as most of the  Dogs here would attest...every trip has a certain point where something goes wrong. Normally at this point your mates help you, encourage you or the credit card mends it like some digital super glue and you carry on with your adventure like all is OK.

And then there is the other type of trip where this point...which in hindsight seems like a critical point...some sort of Karma U-Turn takes place. The first wrong gets mended but emotions gets heated or panic sets in. What normally follows is what seems like a general unravelling at the seems. The next thing goes wrong and then the next and then the next and before you know it your little adventure ride has gone from Jolly Patrollie into full blown Epic.

As I was alone I must have become more in tune with either Karma, the universe or maybe my female side...Dunno. All I knew is that I have reached this critical point. Pay attention Van Rooyen...Hou dinge bymekaar. I had this uneasy feeling that I I didn't bring  my A game that today may turn into an Epic.

So with this in the back of my mind I wake up at 4h30am.

Not because of an alarm clock (phone is stukkend onthou)...no, because of the roosters in Karibib. Ek sweer die donnerse goed is gerook!! The first one goes with his cookle doodle doo and I thought great, I will snooze a bit. 45 mins later and about 12 different roosters later each trying to outdo the prevous' attempt at Pavarotti I strip my moer and get up.

I get the bike packed. As my lights were not functional I had to wait for dawn to break. I sat there impatiently smoking...contemplating on the 1000km that lies ahead to the border...which I was planning to do in some sort of an Iron Butt attempt.

I say Iron Butt...more like a Metric Butt or Iron Butt light. Iron Butt is 1000 Miles Van Rooyen...not a measly 1000km...jou pissie.

What concerned me was my tyres. The Dunlop 606 has been great on the deseert and riverbed terrain and was still very good wear wise...but these have a tendency to chuck knobs when flogged for any extended period over 120km/h. Especially when loaded.

And as we all know from endless family gatherings, christmass work functions and weddings...its all fun and games till some knob ruins the party.

I set off as the dawn breaks...well so I thought. The morning star still had a few other starry neighbours so I reckon I was about 30mins early.

Well an ice cold half blind first 30mins was ridden with extreme caution. Jou stupid doos...stop tempting fate. Just get home in one piece you idiot.

As the day blossomed I could start looking around a bit. Landscape was top class. Lots of doves around...weird. Still ice cold....my manhood retreated to about 2 inches above my left kidney. I reckon it scored about 2 Deg Celcius...not much more.

Okahandja comes and goes...then Windhoek. Nee fok nou moet ek eers n plan maak. I stop at the first garage in sight. Helmet off tank bag off.

Assistant: "Meneer met kaart betaal?"

Me: "Ja dankie"

Assistant: "Nee meneer cash only"

Me: "Wat de donner?"

I am in Windhoek FFS...surely I can pay by card?! I head to the office to enquire but got assured the assistant was correct. Cash only as they are having issues with their ccard machines. So not only in SA it though.

Bogger die...I need to save my cash for the campsite tonight.

I head to the same garage I filled at before on the way up. Fill up bike and the Desert Fox for just in case.

My thoughts on this seemingly overpriced papsak I bought from Flying Brick (Ek dink die eienaar be-oog om vroeg af te tree :pot:)

R680 buys you a papsak (literally) covered in some very boutique like khaki cordura fabrick for that authentic overland look. With a capacity of only 5 liters I cringed as I swiped the credit card...al die geld om 5 liter te dra. Jy is fokken gek Van Rooyen. Well once again how wrong I was. The bleddie thing is authentic. I normally filled 6.6 liters (reckon 7 will fit no issues), it didnt leak or smell or tear or anything. It just did its job again and again. Never mind the heat or terrain. In hindsight R680 was cheap. Highly recommended :thumleft:

After the bike and papsak fill I made a bee-line for the convenience store for coffee. What followed was a complicated process:

Me standing in front of coffee machine:"Ekskuus waar is die koppies"

Assistant: "Nee meneer moet eers voor gaan betaal"

Me: "Kan ek dan n koppie kry?"

Assistant with that air of addressing an idiot: "Ja meneer"

Wat n rondfokkery...10mins in a queue for an N$8 cup of Joe and I have another 800km to go man!!! FFS!!

As my manhood was still safely hiding above my left kidney I stood in that queue...nee fok dis te koud om sonder koffie aan te gaan!

Coffee and a smoke later and we are off!

Even sitting at 100-110km/h (saving tires) in the piss cold I thought to myself that this is really not so bad. The sun is out and its not too windy...bike running great, headlight strap job holding up and amazing landscape :thumleft:. Hou net aan beweeg poephol en ons sal dit maak :thumleft:

Marienthal. Fuel Steri Stumpie and a smoke. Warm enough now to take off the winter gloves. Thermals, down waistcoat, fleece top and jacket liner stays though...gaan nie kanse vat nie tjom.

Keetmanshoop. Fuel a Coke and a smoke and unfortunately the town has not blossomed into a pleasant little hamlet since my last visit 2 weeks ago...

B1 to Grunau...now this part was actually quite pleasant as I did not cover this on the way up.

Landscape was very beautifull with rock outcrops rising from flat sandy surrounds...almost like sections of the Northern Cape right on the border. I wish to return and explore here.

Then Grootplaas...it is getting late and the sun casts a very long shadow of me on my bike to my left. Shit this is going to be close.

Then on my right I spot what i thought was a large watermass in the distance. Huh? A lake in the middle of this desert country?

Post trip Google dissection later...it was Blinkpan. Definately had water on it.

I arrive at the Engen/Wimpy with about 30mins of daylight to go. I fill up again.

As I was having a smoke outside after I ordered my Wimpy burger and milkshake...some 4 x 4's pull in.

Nog n pap snoek asseblief.

Its the group from Purros that gave me all that petrol :thumleft:. For a second I thought to repay the kindness by paying for their petrol...luckily sanity prevailed. 3 vehicles at +- 80l each...erm...thats above my paygrade.

I thank them once again and enquire as to how their trip down the Purros Canyon went. They got about 10 Ellies later the same morning in the area I had the ellie roadblock. I wish them farewell and go dig in on that burger. Burger was ok but the milkshake was awesome...basically Ice Cream in a glass. The straw was useless...I had to eat it with a spoon :thumleft:

As I sat there all mucho in my ATGAT, spooning my Vanilla Milkshake like us hardened men of Adv Riding do I spotted one of the 4x4 group ws popping in by the Engen convenience store. I go say thank you again for the fuel. We start chatting and Neil enquires as to what I do.

Me: "Marine Electronics"

Neil: "Waar?"

Me: "Paarden Eiland"

Neil: "Werk jy saam met n Bernie"

Me: "Ja, Bernie Belcher. Ek het meeste wat ek weet by hom geleer"

Neil: "Wel Bernie is my vrou se oom"

Fok my...what a small world!!

After the last farewells I head into the dusk to the Amanzi Trials River Camp. It was 10km or so but I had to take it slow due to my headlight situation. The last bits of sun played on the cliffs and painted them a reddish hue. Was I on mars again? Last few kilometer to the river was very cool as a gloomy fog started forming over the river and close surrounds. A bit eerie but very cool.

I arrived at Amanzi and they were very very full. 4x4 everywhere and I got the sensation that many a kak storie would be had over camp fires that night comparing the merits of suspension upgrades, winch wattage, diesel vs petrol and generally who has got the biggest cock. Ag shame man...I did not see any of you lot on Van Zyls...go back to Sandton...your spray on mud needs a touch-up!

I get my old Capsite #12. Tent goes up as it is already chilly.

A coffee and a few smokes later I go for a hot shower making sure to not ingest any river water...nie lus vir n gekotsery op my laaste nag nie!

An oom saunters over...wragtag, I met him at the Kunene Lodge campsite. He tells me that they were thinking of me and were a bit worried about my solo route and that they were glad to see I am safe. We exchange some tales and I bid him a good night and safe travels back.

Another smoke and I am off to bed.

I lie there in my tent listening to some music and make some notes in my little note book I took along for this trip. I re-read some of it. I reflect...

Jou lucky bliksem!! I thought as I drifted off to sleep for what turned out to be the effing coldest night I have spent in a tent in a very very long time!


 
Ek hoop jy ry stadiger terug Kaap toe.  Of gooi sommer jou eerste week terug by die werk ook in.  Besonderse lekker RR.
 
Katana...ek dink jy sal my eerste week tuis en die eerste week terug by die werk ook geniet. Maar...en dis n groot MAAR, ek was vandag by my ouers om die foties te wys ensovoorts. Ek kon nie al die staaltjies onthou nie en wys toe my pa (wat in sy 70tigs eers die internet ontdek en nou is hy addicted >:D) die ride report en bookmark dit vir hom op sy foon. Nou my ouers is redelik konservatief (onthou die NG Kerk staaltjie?) so ek moes by voorbaat omverskoning vra oor die taalgebruik hier!

En by my werk gaan dit rofweg so:

"This is the marine industry....its not a spade...its a fucking shovel!"

Ek dink nie my ouers sal my eerste week terug by die werk oorleef nie!!

Net stadig gery tot by Malmusbury...daarna kon die tyres maar kak. >:D
 
  Jammer jy moes jou trip kortknip.Gelukkig kan jy hom volgende keer klaarmaak as jy hom daar by die Spitskoppe gaan haal.Ek het dit baie geniet en sien uit na jou volgende avontuur.Daar is nie baie soldate met jou soort knaters nie!!! :thumleft:
 
Day 14: Die Vet dame het gesing

They say its not over until the fat lady has sung...wel vandag rek sy haar bek sommer voor die son opkom. Dis po3s koud in die tent.

Liewe magtag...ek le omtrent n uur en worstel met n oggend glory wat aandui dat ek moet gaan pee. Its too bloody cold!!!

Eventually I realize my neighbour may become suspicious of all the tossing and turning emmitting from my tent...

I take aforementioned morning glory for a walk to the ablutions...ah much better.

Attempted a pre-dawn ciggy and some stargazing but gave up halfway and retreated to the luke warm embrace of my sleeping bag.

A note on sleeping arrangements:

I normally sleep on a 3/4 Thermarest (thinnest lightest one) with my old Cape Storm down mummy sleeping bag rated to -5Deg apparently.

-5Deg my gat.

As I have never done Nam in winter I erred on the side of cauting and went looking for thermal sleeping bag liners. The very helpfull gentleman (shyster) at Cape Union Fart assured me that this thin travel liner will add 15Deg and he easily swindled the R680 from my wallet like taking candy from a baby. Doos.

15Deg extra my gat. More like 2...maybe :dousing:

The luke warm embrace eventually turns to a reasonable level of affection and I afford myself a bit of a lie in.

Eventually I convince myself to get going and I get out into the cold still morning air next to the Orange River.

I fire up the trusty MSR I bought for R460 when I was 16 years old for my morning cuppa. I still recall my dad telling me "Jy is mal" when he heard the price...well dad, 22 years on and many adventures later that stove is still going!

Firing up this multifuel (I use petrol) stove involves pumping up the fuel bottle to generate enough pressure for the stove to work. As I am about to light the petrol puddle in the pre-heat pan I feel a slight brush against my hand. Huh?? Luckily I stop and inspect further...the O-Ring (Also 22 years old) of the fuel pump is emitting a fine mist spray of petrol. Luvverly..."Van Rooyen jy moet ophou ingat wees, koop n service kit dammit!" I berate myself and give the pump a quarter turn until the mist stops. A man needs his coffee in the morning...this man especially! Stove fires up without an explosion :thumleft:

Coffee, ciggie and then go dump the fruit juice (2 x 3 liter) that I was carrying up to now for emergency water supply. No need anymore and my luggage bags does not need any more torture.

I put on every bit of clothing I have that will fit under the ATGAT. It was cold...like the stare your ex wife/girlfriend gives you when she sees you happy and in love with your new younger, prettier and bustier new stukkie >:D

I head for the border and withing 40 mins I am through both sides. Quick ciggie halfway up the pass I soak in the barren landscape. I reflect on Namibia and more specifically Kaokoland. How does one convey to another who has never been there what the place is like? The closest I can come up with is that the Karoo and the Northern Cape had a lovechild and raised it exclusively on Redbull and Viagra!!! Yes it is that good...

Did I mention it was cold? My manhood has decided 2 inches above my left kidney is still too frigid and has pulled a Houdini on me. At my first pee stop I must have spent 5 mins convincing him/it to make an appearance!

Now you would think that by now I was regretting heading home? Far from it...all I could think was "Fuck we live in a beautful country!"

A few roadside smoke stops and fuel at Klawer eventually brings us to Piketberg. The same coffee machine gets homed in on again. As I am fiddling with the coffee machine (only realizing that I only have N$ change in my wallet) a tight little blonde number walks in.

Now without being too egotistical...I can pull off Tall Dark and Handsome every now and again so are used to the odd look in my direction.

She gives me a look.

I though: "There you go, you still have it handsome"

I look back...

The Penny Drops

She wasn't having a perv...she was giving be that look of disdain the privileged give beggars.

"Really Blondie, jou po3s ook!"

Eventually coffee is acquired and I go stand by the bike for a smoke. I reapply sunblock and in my mirror I see the reason for her disdain...fokkit Van Rooyen...jy lyk so bietjie grof boet. 2 weeks of sun, dust, cold, heat and no shaving did not result in that rugged Clint Eastwood look I was going for :eek:

By now I was on the loosing side of daylight and the Dunlops have started cracking at the base of the knobs already. I was dreading tyre issues/puncture so kept it steady at 100/110km/h. Now for those that have done Noordoewer to CT...imagine doing it on a thumper at 100/110km/h...teen nou het my gat so bietjie gestamp.

When I go through Malmusbury the sun is getting very low...70km to go.

Fuckit. I need to get home.

I throttle up that Yammerhammer like it was a 990. Fuel consumption and tires se moer...ek wil by die huis kom!

After an exhilarating dash I get to the Durbanville turn-off.

I pass a 4x4..its Neil and Meneer "ek het 160 liter" from Purros!!! I hoot as I pull alongside and give them the thumbsup...the kids in the back really appreciated it (in moments like these I really wished I could wheelie!!).

It feels like full circle running into them again and I reflect on the blessings I had on this journey. You lucky sod!!

Arrive home just before dark only to find that the missus have also just arrived home.

You know you have been on a decent bike trip when your own dog barks at you when you open the front door 8) "Igor jou poephol...dis ek!"

Quickly go walk Igor with the missus and then delivery pizza for dinner. Colcacchios nogal...lekker windgat.

I am happy to be home.

The weekend pass with me desperately trying every trick in the book to try and extract the pictures from the broken phone. I was really stressing about it.

On Monday Ettiene and I go for a cycle and he suggests I take the phone to his Chinaman connection at Cape Gate. "Nee boet, maatskappy foon. Laat ek hom maar eerder vir my IT ou gee"

Ettienne insists and we head for Chinaman after the cycle.

Chinaman: "Yes we have part. R1200 I fix for you"

Me: "When can I pic it up"

Chinaman: "1 hour"

Me: "Fook me...really?"

Lekka Pannarottis lunch later and phone is fixed, the stars align and the photos are all there. Thanks Ettienne and your Chinaman :thumleft:

And as they say in Looney Tunes: "Thats all Folks!"



 
Bokveld...net n plesier en is by jy het dit geniet.

Soos voorheen genoem my knaters is maar middlematig (independantly verified >:D) met tydelike verhardings vermoee :)

 
:sip: Flippen hel, dit was naais, eks half jammer jys by die huis.
Wys nou pics van die lig skade ens.
 
I'm also sad you home , wish you were gone for at least another week [ glad you safe ] but that was an epic read. Thanx so much for sharing :thumleft:
 
Thanks for a very entertaining ride report Stroke Her.  Brought back some fond memories of our trip a year ago.

You should become an author man, you have talent.  :deal:

Himba girl with tits straight from the Heffner mansion (nearly dropped the bike when I did a lookback for a second viewing >:D)  :imaposer: :imaposer: :useless:

Must admit, some of them have some beautiful knockers  ;)
 
Great report Stroke Her :thumleft:  Thanks for sharing with us. Defiantly on the bucket list.
 
Met jou skryf vermoëns laat jy selfs die dag trip op die B1 vanaf Karibib na Noordoewer na n adventure klink. :thumleft:

My enigste ooit mal terug huistoe trip was ry uit Walvisbaai uit 5:15 pm via grondpad suid en stop om 5:30 pm die volgende middag in Stilbaai. Nie aan te bevele in Augustus. My Dakar was spils vir my vir n week. :eek7: :lol8:
 
Stuff Marine electronics, go into writing novels,, brilliant report!!!!
 
I must say Ireally enjoyed the reading .... well done awesome trip

nou wil ek net bike pak  :biggrin:
 
Thanks dit was moerse lekker om saam te ry, en ons 2007 se Kaoko trip weer te beleef deur jou lekker loslip vertel vermoee  :thumleft:
 
Great man!!! Was nou n lekker report die man!!! Lees sommer weer van voor af...

Sent from my HUAWEI GRA-L09 using Tapatalk

 
Dude when is your next trip? come on leave tomorrow ! that was one of the best reports I've read ............ :lamer:
 
Baie dankie vir die lekker lees.  Dis nou wragtig 'n RR wat jy alles lees en alle kiekies kyk.

Kan nie wag vir jou volgende trip nie  :thumleft:
 
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