The "It Never Happened" trip...

[Mr Zog]

Loving it.

Please type faster

Brilliant story Mr Zog...please type faster. ;D

Chill ou's, I type slow, and I also gotta smoke too... I have to go outside to smoke, and its raining and its cold, so I just have a few at a time  ;D

ok...smoke break.  :ricky:

 

[Mr Zog]

We headed out of Greytown, onto the R74, heading east. Some more really lekker mountain passes, and believe me guys and girls, I was planning on taking lots of pics for my RR, but seeing as the camera's were both fubar, this trip never happened 

We passed through Nhlangwini, and down into Stanger. By now the batteries in the intercom WERE dead, and I got the double-tap from beloved again. I was too late too stop at an Engen garage just off to the left as we entered Stanger, and then we didn't see another garage. We turned left onto the R102, up the coast towards Gingindlovu.

I kept expecting to see a filling station any second, but this is the alternative route to the N2, and so filling stations were not to be found. We crossed the Tugela river again, and it was really full, certainly close to bursting its banks. I got another double-tap from the missus, and I knew she needed a stop soon. It wasn't long and I saw a dirt road leading off to the right. I turned off and followed it for a bit, looking for a spot where beloved could find relief. Then another smaller dirt track, so I took that, up a hill. At the top of the hill was the edge of a sugar cane plantation, with a small area that wasn't too wet, so I stopped there.

I held the bike still while beloved got off, turned it around, and pointed out a small rock to her that I wanted to put under the side-stand. The ground was very soft from all the rain and I didn't want the fully loaded GSA falling over in the mud. It would be a bitch to pick up. With the bike secure we both did our thing, and I had another smoke. Jeez, sounds like I smoke too much...  :deal:

Now also understand that taking a bos-pee isnt that difficult for a guy wearing rainsuit, ATGATT, etc. But for a lady its a bit more of a mission. We were barely done when I heard dogs barking, and a few seconds later a farmer dude came walking around a corner of the sugar-cane with about eight farm brakke. At first he seemed a bit put out that we were here on his property with a .. DIRT BIKE!!! but I greeted him with a friendly smile and explained that we just needed a secluded spot for a pit-stop. He laughed and said that we were lucky not to be caught in the act  ;D

We said cheers to the sugar cane farmer, and headed back to the main road. The dirt road was soaking wet, but still had good traction, so other than one or two little slips, we were ok. And I was on the original Michelins that the GSA came out with, no knobblies for me yet! Back onto the tar and about ten k's later we arrived at the intersection of the R66, where we turned right, towards the ocean! Just under the N2 highway the tar ended, and thats where the fun started...  ot:

 

[Beemer Mike]

Nice RR.

 

[Mr Zog]

The R66 ends at the N2, and from there its called the D888. Its a good dirt road, and it follows the crest of the hill for about two k's, so even with all the rain it was still ok, the drainage was good. I didn't want to stop and reduce tyre pressures either. There was no way of inflating them again, unless I used a couple of my bombs, and I wanted to save them for a real problem. So with road pressures in the slangvelle, and a very heavily loaded GSA, two-up, I hit the dirt.

As mentioned, the first two k's were ok, lots of potholes filled with water, but I kept it slow; just second gear, about 40km/h. All went well, until I had to turn off to the right onto the A2582. The turn-off was on a downhill, and it was a sharp right, about 135 degrees. And the A2582 immediately went uphill again. This means that there was a LOT of pretty deep mud right in the intersection. I had slowed right down, first gear, and started making the turn. But the back wheel didn't seem to want to follow the front, it kept sliding to the left. I countered as much as I could by turning into the slide. It must have resembled a drift! The rear wheel just sliding to the left, while I was trying to turn right...

Now a road is only so wide, and after a second or two, the side of the road came a lot closer. I knew that the time had come, either slide into the embankment and probably high-side it over, or turn into the corner, give it some gas, point the nose in the right direction, and hope for the best. I elected for the latter.

The rear came around nicely, the nose pointed in the correct direction for a second, then the arse kept going. Nothing I could do in the front could stop the front wheel washing out in the mud, and we went down on the right side. The speed by this time was barely a walking pace, so basically the bike just fell over. The crash bars and the pannier held it at about a 50 degree angle. I lay on my back in the mud, beloved almost on top of me.

We extricated ourselves from the mess, and I checked if she was ok. No harm done, no injuries, and the bike was fine too, it was still idling! I killed it with the kill switch, walked around and pulled out the side stand, walked back around, and picked the beast up. Shit it was heavy! Luckily for me I have been taught the correct way to lift these bikes, back to the bike and use your legs. Up she went, until the side stand held her firm again. Mud was caked all along the crash bar and the pannier, but not even a scratch as far as I could tell. Cool.

Mrs Zog decided that she would walk a bit, just until the worst of the mud was over, so I got back on, started the bike up, switched off the ABS and the TC, and tried again. This time it was a lot easier with less weight, and I was also able to stand and let the arse swing around a bit in the mud, controlling the direction more with my weight than the bars. A few lekker "s" stripes later in the mud and I had reached the top of the first hill. Mrs Zog, who I had passed on the way up arrived, and she looked a bit sceptical when I told her to get back on. But she put her foot on the peg, swung her leg over the saddle... and then her muddy left boot slipped off the peg  :imaposer:

I'm laughing now, but I'll tell you that trying to hold a fully loaded GSA up, in mud, in rain, while beloved dangles half-off the bike, isnt so easy! She was telling me to help her, but I couldn't! Her left trouser leg had snagged the peg as she slipped, and she wasn't even able to get her left foot back onto the ground! Oh man! Luckily, I suppose, it was just the rain suit section that had snagged, and not her ATGATT pants. With her struggling the cheap rainsuit pants tore, her foot was able to reach the ground, and she was able to dismount again. Eish!!

She tried again, more carefully this time, and succeeded. Yay! The GPS was showing just 2,6km to go... but it was going to be a very slow and interesting 2,6km.  :ricky:

 

[Mr Zog]

We set off again, slowly, 1st gear. The rain made it difficult to see the track (basically a tweespoor) clearly, and on the next downhill things got hairy again. The water was flowing in little rivulets, washing loose sand causing mud puddles in the holes. It wasn't long and the bike was suddenly pushing its nose to the left. I corrected the bars, gave it just a little gas, and the arse came out so fast I had no chance. We went down again. Again onto the right side. Because I had tried to gas it through we had picked up a bit of speed, so this time the crash bar slid forward in the mud, about a meter. Beloved's foot came off her peg and her boot was stuck under the pannier.

I was fine, so I pulled her leg a bit at the same time she did, and her boot slid out. No harm done. We lay on our backs in the mud, laughing! Our rain suits were both very brown and muddy by now. Again I put the sidestand out, picked up the beast, and surveyed the damage. All was fine, nothing broken. Liefie again decided to walk a bit, and I meerkatted down the hill. Its a lot easier one-up. There was a slight uphill again, about 50 meters that was also very slippery. By now I had figured it out: the red sand was the slippery bugger, the yellow sand was fine, and the stony bits were lekker too. By avoiding the red stuff I managed to get to the top of the next uphill and I got off the bike, and had a smoke while I waited for the missus.

The nexty section was sort of level, and not too bad, but liefie was by now not lus for more mud-wrestling, and wanted to walk the rest of the way to the destination. The GPS showed it still about 2km, I told her this. We made a deal, each time I saw a section that I wasn't happy with, I would stop and let her off, then I would do it solo while she walked. I can't blame her for this, she was just a passenger, and had no control, and with the weather, and me constantly shifting my weight around around on the bike to control it, she had no idea what was coming.

She got back on, and from there on, each time I spotted a section of dodgy stuff, she got off and walked it, and I rode through it. I had one more mishap... a section that was full of the red shit with only a small narrow section of yellow on the right, right up against an embankment caught me out. I tried to just squeeze past, but the engine was just too wide, and the crash bar caught on the embankment and pulled me over. I lifted my foot off the peg on the right, and put it down on the embankment, it wasn't very high. The bike toppled over against the embankment, but just a very little bit. I was able to just push it up again with my leg and get going again.

Finally we were down the hill and into the dunes behind the resort. The traction was better, and we rode together again. But the final section up the dune to the reception was quite steep, and it was bricked. It was right around a sharp blind corner, and the bricks were wet and somewhat mossy. There was no time to stop, so I just gave it a bit of gas, pointed the nose up the incline, and went for it. There were a whole bunch of young guys sitting at the top. They were watching as we ascended the incline, and I was just praying for a good outcome...

The tail swung a couple of times, but I made it! At the top was a sharp turn to the right, the bricks had ended and it was deep sea-sand  :eek7:  I turned right, the bike slowed, and I came to a stop. I put my feet down, told liefie to get off... and solo I rode forward a few more meters until I was sure that I could park the bike safely. YES!!! We had made it!!!  :ricky:

 

[Veldbrand]

Phew!
Well done so far Mr Z.
I think a lot of us know those cold silences from our first trips with the girls in the rain and snot.
Amazing how those trips and moments mostly turn out to be such good memories and are repeated around fires (often by the ones who wanted to take the cage  ) amid much laughter.
Pity you couldn't take pics.
Keep on keepin' on typing man.

 

[goingnowherequickly]

fantastic..
I know the area quite well, think this may actually be a true story  :imaposer:
but without pics, well.....
Only joking, well done on doing it with the elements against you...
Loving your writing style..

 

[Bokveld]

    A well written RR,Mr Zog.Your description is so vivid,I dont even miss the pics.

 

[hando]

    A well written RR,Mr Zog.Your description is so vivid,I dont even miss the pics.

Agreed !!!!

Now please type faster and smoke less. 

 

[dusty]

No need for pics in this RR, very well written  :thumleft:

 

[robin800gs]

very nicely done. good read ;D

 

[Mr Zog]

So finally, after 11 hours of travelling, about 725km, 3 wipeouts, and a dam full of rain we had arrived. Both the missus and I were fubar. The staff gave us our room key, but we had to get out of most of our kit before we could go into the room, thats how wet and dirty we were! The rain suits were just left hanging over a table outside the room so that the rain could wash them off a bit, and our biking boots had to be beaten severely (bad boots!) to get the worst of the mud off. We just gooied the wet and muddy gear in a corner, I'd get to them later.

I mentioned that there were a bunch of young guys sitting watching us arrive, well turns out that they were down from Joburg for the one dude's batchelor's party. They were having a JOL, one bakkie that the one dude was in even had a Katoom sticker on the back. So they must have been alright okes...

The room was great! It was called the "Tap Room", must have been like the "control centre" for the place many years ago. (Go look at the website, post 1, you'll understand!) There were LOTS of taps stuck in the one wall, so I used them to hang some of the wet stuff on. The bathroom was lekker too, the shower had two nozzles next to each other, so "shower with a friend" was definitely on, and the one wall of the shower was a ceiling to floor window with one-way glass. So one could shower and look at the lagoon outside at the same time. Way cool bru  :thumleft:

The room was airconditioned, but being cool and rainy we didn't need it. While the missus had a lekker hot shower to warm up I unloaded the bike. I had just purchased two inside-pannier bags from the bike shop in Koedoespoort, Offroad Cycles, (punt - GREAT service from these guys, and good prices too  :thumleft: ) so getting the clothes etc out was a breeze. And best of all, the panniers had kept everything bone dry! I unpacked the stuff, and also hung my tankbag from the curtain rail to dry, it was soaked throught!

The plan was to have a lekker big late lunch en route, and then just a snack for dinner. Well anyone who has done a ride like this knows that after such a long day one can have serious munchies. I am like a boy scout (used to be one  :biggrin: ) so I try to be prepared, even if I am a bit dof sometimes... So I had packed a bag of "Pasta in Sauce" as well as a pack of Romany Creams, and several sachets of Enrista coffee. After an amazing shower I took all the stuff to the communal kitchen and cooked the missus a lekker hot meal, and a nice coffee to wash it down.

The young guys by now had departed for Durban, apparently they were going to some club for the highlight of the batchelors party, so the missus and I had the whole place to ourselves. We had a nice romantic dinner for two under the roof, while the sounds of the Indian ocean waves crashing on the beach mixed with the raindrops on the tin roof. Then early to bed. It had been a long day.  :ricky:

 

[Mr Zog]

I woke up early, sunshine was illuminating the room. I went outside for a smoke and made another mug of enrista. It wasn't cold here, probably early 20's, and the sunlight was through a gap in the clouds, it didn't last long. But it was good while it lasted. And then I nearly had a heart attack!

I had removed the panniers from the bike the previous evening, but because they were so muddy I had left them outside the room. Now they were gone!!!!!!! So were the el-cheapo rain suits from Makro. This wasn't good... I had visions of tying the inside-the-pannier bags to the frames to get the kit home. I looked around, but they were nowhere to be found. Shit, kak way to start a holiday.

The bike was still there though, and even though I had left it well exposed to the rain the previous night it was still moerofa dirty. I hate having a dirty bike. So I spied a hosepipe one side. I pushed the bike a bit closer and used the hose to wash off the worst of the mud and sand. On examination I noted that the crash bars had handled the bigger of the offs yesterday with just a tiny scratch. Cool, the bike has got "houding" now  :biggrin:

I went back inside and woke the missus, I sorted through the stuff, plugged the camera battery into the charger, and had another lekker shower. Then I went off to the kitchen to make another coffee. The staff had finally surfaced, and I asked the one cleaner if she knew anything about my panniers and rainsuits. She ambled over to a barn, opened the door, and dissappeared inside. A few seconds later she appeared with a pannier!! Woo Hoo! Transpires the security dude had decided that they would be safer in the barn  :thumleft:

I reclaimed my stuff, and locked the panniers onto the bike, just because. By then the missus had also showered, and we kitted up in out ATGATT. We needed to get to Mtunzini for food. It had stopped raining during the night, and the road was a lot drier. But Mrs Zog made sure that the same rules applied as the previous day. Each time I came to a spot that looked dodgy I would stop and she would walk it. I must say that with the bike unpacked it was a lot lighter and I had no mishaps getting back to the better dirt road. In fact I even turned around at one stage while liefie was walking and redid the shitty section again, just because I could  :ricky:

Back on the good dirt we made our way to the N2 highway, got on it, and headed up to Mtunzini. The village of Mtunzini is small, but we found a Spar, so parked up and went in, just as the rain started again. We bought meat and food and stuff, but being a Sunday, and being the backward KZN, the TOPS section was closed    atch:  But they did have a lekker bakery section that was open, and I got a couple of cheese rolls, each with a lekker slice of crispy bacon on top for brekkie  :drif:

We also got mix, I mean coke, and some other essentials too. All was loaded into the panniers in the rain, we kitted up and headed back. The rain stopped just before the turn-off to our spot, so we did the dirt same as the way out, not too bad, but still with the same rules. And no incidents  :thumleft: Now that we had food, we could start the holiday proper  :lol8:

 

[cheesy]

You have got a great writing style. tx. for posting and tickle the key board. 8)

 

[Spokeshave]

Excellent!!!  :laughing4:

 

[Mr Zog]

Right, so we were back at the Hatch, and things were looking good, well sort of... the dude's that went to Durbs had started emerging, and they looked like shit! Obviously they had gone big the previous evening. Jirre I'm glad I didn't have their babelaas...  :lol8:

But one good thing came out of it all... I noticed that they still had a couple of full bottles of dop lying around. So with a gentle voice I was able to negotiate a good price on a bottle of Klippies  :thumleft:  The dudes were all getting ready to head back to Joeys, and with the headaches they were suffering they didn't really want to have any more dop. Score  :imaposer:

Mrs Zog's camera battery was charged up by now, so she took a few pics of the Hatchery:

This is the communal kitchen area, with a covered area outside where one can eat, sit and drink, just chill... the access road comes up just past the left of it.

This sign and the surfboards was quite ironic...

Swimming pools, no actually just chilling-out pools next to the camping area.

The pools are filtered by the au-natural method. Plants keep it clean.

The camping area ablutions are "interesting" to say the least. There is a private area for the lavvy and also the shower too 

Speaking of showers, here is the twin-head shower in our room...

A view of the lagoon / river during some more kak weather...

The view up the lagoon from just in front of our room...

This door leads to nowhere.

A LEKKER spot. Its called the Gin-Tank. And it is actually pretty deep, when I stand on the bottom I can just see over the top. It has planks against the inside that form seats, so we sit in there and dop... moer lekker!  :thumleft:

And you can see the room behind it, the long narrow vertical window... thats the "shower with a view" window  :biggrin:

The link to the website for The Hatchery is in my first post. Their prices are very reasonable, the facilities are good, and they are most definitely "Biker Friendly". This is a spot that I want to come back to, just in better weather.

 

[Ian in Great Brak River]

Brilliant !

 

[Hanno]

Excellent writing style you're a natural!

This trip is what true memories are made of. I hope you're not done yet??

 

[Mr Zog]

We did have a good time at the Hatch, despite the wet weather. For the Sunday I had booked a meal at the Prawnshak, https://www.shak.co.za/  its about 2k's up the beach from the Hatch. We decided that because we were palnning on having many Caipariniha's, Mojito's, and other selected fine drinks that we would walk the path so that there would be no option of riding the scoot back. So around 11h30 we set off along the beach to find the Prawnshak...

About half an hour later we found it. But it was closed. I had made a booking, both by email and telephonically, but they hadn't bothered to let me know that they had decided to close for the day. That really pissed me off, we had been looking forward to the seafood lunch for weeks. Bastids...  So we walked back a lot more sober than we had been planning to...

There is a river / Lagoon that runs between the Hatchery and the ocean. Because of the severe rains the river was in flood, during our stay there the level dropped over a meter vertically. But what is really lekker is that the Hatchery will rent you a canoe or other watercraft so that you can get over to the beach. When the river isn't so flooded its apparently possible to just wade across. We took a couple of canoes and paddled across. The beach is incredibly private because of its remoteness, so for those that like a bit of privacy to tan with less gear than usual, this is just perfect 

We did get a few moments of sunshine while we were there, but of course the best sunshine happened the morning we had to leave to get back to Pretoria. Murphy is such a schmuck...  left the hatchery on the Tuesday morning...  in bright lovely DRY sunshine  8)

 

[Carrots]

BEFOK!!!  :thumleft: :happy1: