Kaokoland: I was tired of reading about it!!!

[stroke her]

Nog

 

[stroke her]

Day 9 Leaving the Hoarusib...Die Bekakking

As I gear down to 1st in the fesh-fesh I take a glance up to check the direction of the track...

Time freezes.

0.5 seconds the later the brick gets supersized back to breezeblock size.

30m ahead of me the elphant's head is sticking out over some bushes....staring right at me with that "wat maak jy boet?" expresssion only the Big 5 seems to be able to muster when their space gets intruded upon.

My guts went into free fall...the freshly supersized breezeblock has now officially been shat.

I could swear I felt the baby Ten's rear suspension dip as the aforementioned hitteth thine seat.

****

 

[Snafu]

Nee man, gooi!!!!! ffs

 

[Oom Foe-rie]

Ouch .......... :eek7: :eek7:

 

[Ou Ryperd]

Lekker report

"eks kak sterk as ek bedonnerd raak"
:laughing4: :laughing4: :laughing4:

Skerp, baie skerp  :deal:

 

[stroke her]

We leave the tale here for now...I have friends over.

Sorry boys

Next installment we cover another one on Kaokoland's treasures which is instant upgrade of your riding ability to rally god status.

 

[Chrisl]

Jy is lekker aspris...............................................................hou elke keer op met post by fyndraai!! :lol8:

Ons wag geduldig vir jou goeie skryf talent. :thumleft:

 

[Brink]

:ricky: atch: :sip:

 

[Snafu]

Jy is lekker aspris...............................................................hou elke keer op met post by fyndraai!! :lol8:

Ons wag geduldig vir jou goeie skryf talent. :thumleft:

Ten minste weet ons die fokker is nog met ons

 

[Steekvlieg]

eepwall:

 

[armpump]

We leave the tale here for now...I have friends over.

Sorry boys

Next installment we cover another one on Kaokoland's treasures which is instant upgrade of your riding ability to rally god status.

Haha and the winner is ..................... right after this add break  :laughing4:

 

[bud500 (R.I.P)]

Lekker report!
What a trip!

 

[stroke her]

Day 9: Rally god upgrade and The Traffic Jam

As time frose and the proverbial shait shat...I thought to myself:

"Do I dare try and get a fotie?"

My rational side tends to override my inquisitive side at moments like these:

"Fok boetie, vergeet die 'foto or it didnt happen' kak...roer jou gat voor Oupoot jou trap!"

And it was there then when Kaokoland approved my application for Rally God status.

A pivot turn ensued...well in my mind it was a pivot turn...in reality probably more a very wobbly u-turn.

I somehow cleared the substantial and very sandy middelmannetjie with my newfound trials skills. Toni Bou jy kan maar kom vir lesse...

A few meters of slight bundu bashing ensued followed by about 80m of sprint down the tweespoor. Laat ek dit so stel...Marc Coma sou agter geraak het.

I spot a fork ahead that flanks left to the clearing that is the man flow of the river.

Once clear of the vegetation I dare a look back to monitor what in my mind is a seriously livid Elephant bull in full pursuit.

During the look back 'dejavu'...remember the mention of the Himba girl? Alweer slet ek amper neer!

Wobble wobble and my attention is drawn back to the trail ahead. Fok bra as jy hier neerslet dan is dit verby!!!

I dare another quick look back to try and assure my subconscious that was busy generating full on Deffcon 9 level fight of flight response.

And the penny drops...

"Die olifant jaag jou nie jou dom doos!"

Relieved I go park the bike on a clearing on the bank. I stand around not sure what to do....then decide to carry on downstream.

Not 100m on and my GPS screams at me to turn around. I inspect, pan, zoom etc.

Jammer boet...terug afdraai toe met jou...daai s al plek uit"

I go back to the parking spot and climb up the ridge on the opposite back.

I stand there smoking and looking for an alternative exit from the riverbed that does not involve Erberg level enduro riding.

No nothing...

Ja boet...deur daai ruigte sal jy gaan. Dit al uitweg"

Fok

Fokkit

I sit there on the ridge and give the 'ruigte' a good stare down.

And there I spot the Elephant feeding in the dense bush.

My freshly scarred subconscious release a batch of scattered images of the imaged pursuit. I shudder.

After another smoke and an energy bar I start to calm down. It was hot.

The elephant was feeding steadily but alas, not really moving around much.

Fok....

Maar fokkit dis beautiful.

The elphant is about 120m ahead of my bike on the opposite bank. Stuff this I thought...

I will walk down and go get my fotie dammit. And then I will drive up and hoot/rev at the elie until it moves off.

"Yes, yes...get going boet."

I walk down to my bike and leave my jacket on my seat to enable a better change of escape...should I need to run.

I grab my phone and walk the sandy band to the edge of the vegetation. I start a slight bundu bash but vegetaion is sparce and I quickly make about 60m progress in the direction of the ellie.

No the vegetation gets taller and dense. I soon forgo any hopes I had of running. Mx boots is nie spikes nie jou poephol.

I get a few snaps but not of the photos are really good. I am frustrated as I cannot get closer. I backtrack and try another angle.

Then CRACK I step on a twig...

fokitfokitfokit

The elelphant turns his head and take a shouder forward...

A puff of wind...

Out come the ears.


fokitfokitfokit ekakinmybroek


All those chats from random strangers offering advise on the desert ellies come as one unified voice over my subconscious:

"As die ore uitkom dan pla jy die Olifant. Passop"

Fok dit!

First to Reverse

I slowly retreat as softly as possible to the bike.

I inspect the GPS again..."Nee boet, al pad hierdie"

And stuck.

I realise: "Hier gaan ons staan en wag...geen ander opsie"

Not ****...no, not **** at all.

 

[stroke her]

Not ****, no not **** at all.

45mins of national Geographic prime time unfolds before me ;D

I sit and stare, quite confidant that my distance and elevated position would be sufficient.

"Assof jy iets weet van jag en sulke kak Van Rooyen"

Just as the nature show was about to get boring...is see another grey shape in the thicket.

"Ha...here we go, so you are not alone!"

And then the penny drops...

That is a baby ellie you moron.

A cold shiver runs down my spine...

That is not an elephant bull...its mother and child. I realize the caliber of bullit that was dodged...Another ciggy to calm the nerves.

Nature allowed me to finish my smoke...almost that she knew my mind has first got to find the right gear for what was to follow.

And then....out steps baby Ellie onto the sand embankement whilst mommy is still so meters behind feeding in the thicket.

Baby Ellie saunters over in the direction of Baby Ten.

At first I though...Ahw Sweet...how adorable. Baby elephants are so ouliks.

Then I notice it. Hang on, Baby Ellie has some houding.

Like a boxer walking into the stadium, theme song blaring, crowds cheering. Bristling with confidence.

Baby Ten locked eyes with Baby Ellie and returned that gaze of steel only a Japanese motorcycle can muster. "Wat kyk jy?!"

Baby Ellie pasues...

Baby Ten: "Im not moving Bambi"

Baby Ellie brings out the ears and raises the trunk a bit...

Baby Ten just continued the stare down...like a seasoned Samurai, unfaltering.

Baby Ellie decides: " Nee fok dit...die ysterperd is nie bang nie." and retreats back to the thicket and Mommy's arms.

Baby Ten dribbles a little puddle of oil in relief.

 

[stroke her]

A while later the two emerges from the thicket a heads downstream.

The nature show draws to a close just as I could hear David Attenborough's voice going hees and the production assistant runs of to fetch him a Strepsil.

Wow...I thought.

I check the time...O Fok. It has been 3 hours since initial contact and I still have to do the desert leg and then the Hoanib up to Sesfontein :-\

I wait for them to be about 100m from my bike. I still haven't seen any more ellies in that thicket...

Fuckit...lets move.

I cautiously make my way through the thicket...my newfound rally god skill nowhere n sight.

Bimble on Bambi...wobble wobble.

As I head into the desert all signs of vegetation disappears. The track ascends onto the plateau via some dry riverbeds...as in you ride up them not across.

The going is very twisty, sandy shale gravel and corrugated.

It requires more attention than what I am able to muster after recent ellie episode and I have a few close ones.

Steady on dude...

Eventually the track hardens up and smooths out. Still twisty with dips though...2nd gear, 3rd gear and I let the arse hang out a bit to re align my shattered nerves.

Eventually I hit a 40km or so section of sandy autobahn...not deep but corrugated to ****. With the sun behind me I also struggled to read the texture of the road. A few headshakes form Baby Ten...like a race horse trying to rid itself of an incompetent jocky.

My hands were taking strain.

 

[stroke her]

Day 9: The Hoanib

The track descends from the plateau on some dry river beds. 2 spoor corrugated...shat fine gravel that is almost sand but not yet. And with the sun from directly behind I was made to work for it.

It was hot...

My hands were now really hurting.

A started to feel my irritability level rise..

I reach the Hoanib. There is proper signage up that gives a map and warns you of No Entry to Skeleton Park or South of Hoanib.

I am too tired, hot and irritated to take pics.

Now what does one do with oneself when irritated alone in the desert? After all...you only have yourself to be angry with.

As I enter the riverbed 2 big giraffe runs off.

A few hundred meters up I get to a big tree with decent shade and good visibility allround.

Time for a break.

I smoke, eat some snacks...rehydrate.

Slowly my mind clears and click back into the correct gear.

 

[Kreef]

Lekker writing  :thumleft:

 

[stroke her]

Cautiously up the riverbed I proceed.

The going is much more sandy than the Khumib...deep sandy 2 spoor. At least its proper white riversand so mostly 3rd gear.

I am relieved to find the terrain alot more open as well with reasonable lines of visibility.

Also no water...mmmm. Is this good for the ellie situation or bad I wondered.

The kilometers flashed by. 15km up the river still no elephant.

Lost of tracks, dung and torn off branches.

****...

Hide and seek again.

I take a few wrong turns where the track forks. My GPS does not have topo maps so at first this messes me around a bit.

Soon enough I figure out that the tracks always rejoins...its simply running both sides of the main riverbed.

I relax and enjoy the ease with which progress is being made. Perhaps so of the Rally God firmware upgrade is sticking afterall? 8)

I come up tou a commercial tour with two vehicles parked in the riverbed...paying customers seated by tables and guests sat at a table with drinks...roughing it in true Victorians Safari style. Plonkers

I stop and switch off the bike. I stroll over to there guides that are standing aside at the rear vehicle. The chat was friendly yet stern. Yes there is ellies but they are further upstream at the standing water.

I get the vague impression that my presence is not really desired with them having paying clients there and all.

Ag maar fok julle ook I thought.

I proceed. About 5km upstream I nearly have another lane negotiation with an ellie but luckily I spotted him at about 50-60m and had enough space for that legenday Pivot Turn I have. Backtrack a bit and up the right hand side of the river.

The river clearly was in flood recently as the emankment makes a clear cliff in sections about 1-1.5m high.

At one stage the 2 spoor is quite deep sand and running parrallel to this eroded sand cliff about 10m to my left.

On the embankment the greenery flash by in my peripheral to my left as I speed past.

Then I pass some grey bushes ...I take a quick sharp look left. Fok...6-7 ellies on the embankment ears out!

I was doing about 50-60km/h so I pass by in a flash.

Phew

Further up I stop under a big shade tree.

Its hot...its getting late.

Another 45km to Warmquelle....probably 15km riverbed still.

Some foties. A ciggy and water.

Press on boet...you dont want to sleep out here tonight.

Get out into a section where the riverbed opens up (Elephant Song or something camp)

And then a gate with a dude demanding permit payment. Huh?

I pay the N$100 permit. No, no receipt.

So much for community uplifttment...more like community member upliftment I suspect.

So dodgy fesh-fesh later (I clearly ****** up Oom Tiempie's route) where I come to a grinding halt halfway into a thorn bush after being spat from a rut I eventually reach the main road.

30mins light left I reckon.

****

I gun it to Sesfontein...the Yammerhammer in a din of RPM and flying gravel.

Arrive in Sesfontein...what a dump

Fuel...yes they have. Fill up at the normal N$10.90 p/l again. Could not be arsed to calculate consumption.

Off to lodge to check for food.

Yes food, yes N$1200 for a room, yes brekkie sir.

"Jammer, baie fokken jammer"  the deep pocketed and short fingered boer in me replied.

 

[stroke her]

I head down to the spaze shop.

Bully beef and beans, ice cold Coke and Fanta and some cookies.

Smoke a ciggy whilst klapping the Coke and Fanta like I was playing down downs at a Frat party.

The original plan was for a rest day at Ongongo Falls...I did however not route that part beforehand on my GPS as a track. I just noticed the fall was indicated on the map.

I punched it in as a destination and got going. I estimated about 10km.

No those more experience that I at the inner workings of GPS Auto Routing software would have warned me to check the track the software suggest.

I did not.

What ensued was a short liaison stage on the D3710. Corrugated and rocky as hell. Getting dark and then runs past me.

Then Mr GPS directs me down a Westwards 2 spoor...very rocky and loose with a small Van Zyls Pass section. "WTF maak jy?!"

I recall that I did check the tracks on Google and I am supposed to be heading North. I veer off at the next fork and follow my nose a bit.

Eventually a small sign for the Campsite...then another.

I arrive only to be faced by a little stream crossing right in the middle of the campsite. Got through in one piece.

Book in, smoke while chatting to the brothers (Himba) that run the place for the owner. make donation to their classroom project.

Hammock out. Heat up food and eat. Again bully beef and beans...I am knackered and wolf it down.

Call home, shower and sleep. I slept in my hammock...too knackered to bother with the tent.

 

[Snafu]

Dit is mooi!!!