The Wife, the Ex and the Kid

[Avontier]

The report is not even finished yet, and already viewed by more people than a lot of the RR's in the Roll of Honour. Easy to see why! Thanks for the inspiration MJ.

 

[Frohan Visser]

MJ, this is Roll of Honour stuff this!!!
Thanks for putting the time and effort into this report!!
I dreamt about this trip last night!!
I will cantact u later for some GPS points!!
Cheers
Frohan

 

[Would I?]

Fantastic !!!!!!....... I am enjoying the daily read. :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft:

 

[Shakes]

MJ, this is Roll of Honour stuff this!!!

+1
WOW is all i can say  :thumleft:

 

[Metaljockey]

Day 27 Etsha 13, Namibian Border, Tsumkwe

We are woken early by banging of pots at a nearby village. They are driving elephant out of their crops. They are also driving elephant our way but when they come through camp they are not keen on socializing.  

We leave very early because I want to hit the sand while it is still cool and tight.

It turns out not to make much of a difference. When a vehicle track closes up in a V like this, you know you are not going to be riding on sand, you are going to be plowing in sand.

My speedo says 28km/h but that is just the back wheel spinning. The progress is so slow, that I have to use my feet to stop us from falling over.

In second gear, the engine just does not have enough grunt.

Twice the temperature warning light comes on and I have to let the X cool down.  

When I offload the kid, suddenly second gear becomes useable.  

Amazing what a difference 20kg can make.

It takes us just over an hour to do the 9km from camp back to Etsha 13.



When we take the main road south again, we see that the dead apparently appreciates a shady resting place.

We are heading for Tsumkwe in Namibia. The road from Nokaneng to the border surprises us again. Every now and then you think that you have seen it all, ridden all the kinds of bad roads there are, and then you come across a totally new variant.

And then I'm still requiered to play mind games at the same time too. About an hour on this crappy road and I stop for a pee. Peanut says she has been wanting to pee for a long time.

Me: But you must tell me baby, I will stop.
The Kid: I did.

Now that is very possible, she is very vocal on the back, sometimes she sings, sometimes she points out things she sees, sometimes she has long dialogues with imaginary toys. Many times she asks me things, and I just go “yes, I see that” because if I want to hear what it is she is on about, I have to stop and shut down the motor, and that way we will just get nowhere.

Me:         I cannot hear you back there, you must bang on my back.
The Kid:  Ok
                                                        My subconscious: That may have been a mistake.
                                                        Me: Ignore

As we are about to leave, Peanut asks for another jelly bean. Tharina says she can have one when we stop again.

                                                        Subconscious: That’s definitely a mistake.
                                                        Me: I know. What’s done is done.

We pull off, far to go still today. Just as shift to top gear I get the banging on my back.

                                                       Subconscious: I told you so
                                                       Me: I know, shut up.

I slow down, stop, switch off the motor, open my visor,

Me:           Yes?
The Kid:   I want a jelly baby.
Me:          Mommy said only when we stop.
The Kid:   We are stopping
Me:          Oh….. er ……no, we don’t stop for jelly babies, we have never stopped for jelly babies. When we stop to rest again, you can have a jelly baby.

                                                       Subconscious: You are not too bright are you?
                                                       Me: Shut up.
The Kid: OK

Pull off again.  Still within sight of the pee stop, banging on the back again.

                                                       Subconscious: I saw this coming.
                                                       Me: Well, speak the fuck up next time.

Slow down, pull off, shut motor down, open visor.

Me:          Yes?
The Kid:   I want to rest.
Me:          No Peanut, we can’t rest, we just rested. You don’t say when we rest, I say when we rest. You understand?   Don’t  stop me for nothing again, we are wasting time, we have far to go.

Pull off once more. If I knew that we were going to spend half the day to pee, I would have held it in until we got to the border.

                                                      Subconscious: You know what’s coming next, dont you?
                                                      Me: What?
                                                      Subconscious: You told her she can have a jelly baby when you stop.
                                                      Me: So?
                                                      Subconscious: You told her you’ll stop to pee.
                                                      Me: Dammit, if she does that, we are going to have to have that nasty ‘don’t ever lie to me’ scene again.

On the backseat of the bike the gears work slowly, but they work.  About 8 kms on, banging on the back again. Goddammit!

                                                      Subconscious: I.. Me: Shut the fuck up!




We finally get the stop start thing under control and we head for the border.

The last couple of kms to the border is deep sand, 4x4 stuff. This surprises me because on the map it looks like it is a big border post, fed by the C44 on the Namibian side. The C44 is a big gravel highway.

When we get there things look decidedly passive. The gates to Namibia are padlocked. The immigration guy tells us we are the first customers today, it’s 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Very friendly chaps though and we breeze through there and through the Namibian side too.

On the C44 they have these signs for in case you miss the very obvious elephant tracks crossing the road every couple of hundred meters.

We pull into the fuel station in Tsumkwe. Apparently the town gets it’s electricity from a generator. Sundays is no electricity day. Well, ok.

We go to Tsumkwe lodge, the only option in town and get a campsite.

Long day’s riding. Good thing we have a hammock.

 

[Dewie]

Me: But you must tell me baby, I will stop.
The Kid: I did.

Now that is very possible, she is very vocal on the back, sometimes she sings, sometimes she points out things she sees, sometimes she has long dialogues with imaginary toys. Many times she asks me things, and I just go “yes, I see that” because if I want to hear what it is she is on about, I have to stop and shut down the motor, and that way we will just get nowhere.

Me:         I cannot hear you back there, you must bang on my back.
The Kid:  Ok
                                                        My subconscious: That may have been a mistake.
                                                        Me: Ignore

As we are about to leave, Peanut asks for another jelly bean. Tharina says she can have one when we stop again.

                                                        Subconscious: That’s definitely a mistake.
                                                        Me: I know. What’s done is done.

We pull off, far to go still today. Just as shift to top gear I get the banging on my back.

                                                       Subconscious: I told you so
                                                       Me: I know, shut up.

I slow down, stop, switch off the motor, open my visor,

Me:           Yes?
The Kid:   I want a jelly baby.
Me:          Mommy said only when we stop.
The Kid:   We are stopping
Me:          Oh….. er ……no, we don’t stop for jelly babies, we have never stopped for jelly babies. When we stop to rest again, you can have a jelly baby.

                                                       Subconscious: You are not too bright are you?
                                                       Me: Shut up.
The Kid: OK

Pull off again.  Still within sight of the pee stop, banging on the back again.

                                                       Subconscious: I saw this coming.
                                                       Me: Well, speak the fuck up next time.

Slow down, pull off, shut motor down, open visor.

Me:          Yes?
The Kid:   I want to rest.
Me:          No Peanut, we can’t rest, we just rested. You don’t say when we rest, I say when we rest. You understand?   Don’t  stop me for nothing again, we are wasting time, we have far to go.

Pull off once more. If I knew that we were going to spend half the day to pee, I would have held it in until we got to the border.

                                                      Subconscious: You know what’s coming next, dont you?
                                                      Me: What?
                                                      Subconscious: You told her she can have a jelly baby when you stop.
                                                      Me: So?
                                                      Subconscious: You told her you’ll stop to pee.
                                                      Me: Dammit, if she does that, we are going to have to have that nasty ‘don’t ever lie to me’ scene again.

On the backseat of the bike the gears work slowly, but they work.  About 8 kms on, banging on the back again. Goddammit!

                                                      Subconscious: I.. Me: Shut the fuck up!

:laughing4:

 

[cloudgazer]

LOL, that part with your daughter was seriously funny.

I can't get over what an awesome RR this is.

Must say though all that sands freaks me out.

I guess i just don't have that much experience in the soft stuff.

You have an impressive family dude. Respect!

 

[Stofstreep]

Brilliant!!!!! ;D

 

[Adventurer]

Run out of nice things to day..... I am REALLY Enjoying this one...

MJ Were you not concerned about the lions on the isalnd in the Delta?

We had a guide, if he is at peace with it, so am I. And every island has trees.

And MJ had his best 'What the fuck do you want?' stare on..... :biggrin:
Brilliant RR, loving every instalment. Creates a SERIOUS lus to return to Nam....

 

[Maverick (R.I.P.)]

Simply AWESOME!

 

[cheesy]

What a life changing experience for the 3 of you!! The "education" Peanut is getting will not be found in any book/document. The stories the Kid will tell her friends and extended family, amazing stuff.
I have recently read Circulating the Great Karoo, a good read, your report is brilliant, respect to you and your family.
Please keep it comming.
Bum in the saddle

 

[Chuck U Farley]

................your wife can ride in thick sand AND she has a flat stomach!!!!!..........................damn, some guys have all the luck!!

 

[Kat]

:thumleft:    nice trip,I love Nam

 

[Fire Cracker]

Oh I absolutely love this report Thank you! The self dialogue nearly landed me on the floor!  :imaposer:  My husband and I had such a nice ride this week-end together, because it was just us together and exploring new roads, pushing ourselves a little more each time.  We want to do a Namibia trip next year - maybe August, but it looks like i have some serious saddle time to do!  Thank you for the inspiration.  Steep rocky or sandy downhills still scare the shyt out of me (my first few lie downs), but this keeps me wanting to achieve more and try harder all the time!

 

[Groenie]

Brilliant! I had a good laugh at the me-myself-I conversation.


Please do me (and a lot of other okes) a favour and write your whole story and then post it in one go. The suspense is killing me.........(kak sê ding nê)

Carry on regardless

 

[Ektoknbike]

MJ, 'n klop op die skouer vir jou en groot respek aan jou vrou en dogter. :thumleft:
'n Trots vir enige pa. :thumleft:

 

[[email protected]]

MJ - You had me in absolute stiches!!! My Eyes are still watering. So tell me who is the most head-strong, you oir the Kid. (Like father like daughter).

Im loving this RR. And big big big respect to the Wife!!!! Ive got Think Pillion reading it from the start - She made it clear already that the only way we do a trip like this, is her on the back!!

TM....

 

[Metaljockey]

Day 28 Tsumkwe, Omataka, Otjituuo, Grootfontein

I just want to say, Tsumkwe Lodge is affiliated to Twyfelfontein Lodge, which I can highly recommend. Tsumkwe Lodge on the other hand I cannot. The campsites are ok if you do not mind rubble as a view.  

The chalets are asbestos squares standing in the sun that they charge R700 a night for.

The ablutions had broken toilets, broken showers, almost no working bulbs and although one can see that when it was built it was neat, now all the plumbing have been replaced and it runs surface, defacing the place.

And I just hate this false façade shit.

It is such a graphic reminder of our society’s obsession with form over function, image rather than substance, re-enact rather than get the real thing, cover version rather than the original, get paid for being at work rather than working,  I can go on and on.

Does nobody care anymore? How little do you have to care if this is the lodge’s pool, right by reception.

Not surprisingly, last night in the restaurant I had a T-bone steak that was tough and had no physical resemblance to a T-bone. There was one guy there that cared, our waiter. He wanted so much to be a lodge-staff kind of guy. But no training and no backup.

Me:     Is there shrimp in the seafood starter?
Him:    You want  champagne?
Me:     No, I want to know if there is shrimp in the starter.
Him:   Oh, let me check with the kitchen.
Lots of discussion in the kitchen, some heads poke out to look at us. He comes back.
Him:    No, no mushroom in the starter.

It's like the word 'shrimp' is an orphan or something. I send 'shrimp' out into the world and it just never comes back to me. I get 'shampagne', I get 'mushroom', but 'shrimp' is lost in the wilderness, never to be heard from again.

I think I may be turning into a grumpy old man.

We break camp and load up the bikes and as we start up the DRZ is stone dead. Luckily I brought a test light and a multimeter. So in no time I identify the battery as the problem. Luckily I also brought jumper cables. To get to the X’s battery, I have to remove the Touratech tank, so while I’m in there I also fit a jump cable that stays on the bike permanently and that is accessible from outside. The battery never gave any further problems.

The ignition on this bike though can turn through the ‘on’ setting to a ‘park light’ setting, where the keys can be removed. I think what may have happened is that Tharina was standing in front of the bike when she took the keys out and so turned the key the wrong way.



We take our leave and our Eastern Namibia trip starts. And its great.

There are two Namibias. One consists of off road trails, wilderness, survival, living by your wits and terrain ranging from challenging to impossible. The other is wide, good graded gravel with vast distances to be covered at speed and in solitude.

The last couple of thousand kms of our trip will be the latter. Fantastic gravel highways through breathtaking country. This is the kind of thing I am talking about.

We head down the D3306. After about  20km we find ourselves riding into a cattlepost and when the road dead ends in a guy’s yard, we start to suspect that we messed up somewhere.
Ok, there’s no we, it’s just me, I navigate.
As we turn around the owner, Hugo, pitches up and invites us in for some cold ginger beer. It turns out we are in Omataka. The D3306 has been fenced of and closed for some years, but it is still on the maps being published each year.

Omataka also is not the backwater it appears, sitting at the end of a dead end road. A hospital is being built as well accommodation for staff, a new school and hostel for it. He also tells us that Omataka is special in that it gets about 600mm rainfall annually, many times that of the majority of Namibia.

We head out on a new route we put together with Hugo's help.

Along the the way you can smell sweet blossoms.

The route takes us through a private game farm called Eden. Very nice and we see a wide variety of animals.  

Although none of our maps show Otjituuo to have fuel, Hugo assured us that there is . The fuel station turns out to be a re-selling from drums kind of place. This is also the day that the owner has gone to Grootfontein to fetch more stock. And when he is not there, no fuel gets sold.

This changes our plan because without this refuel, there is no way we will get to the next fuel stop.  Luckily my fuel tanker has some to spare for the DRZ and that allows us to make it to Grootfontein. I was hoping to avoid Grootfontein, as my only experience of it is limited to the desolation of the Deurgangskamp, and if I never see the place again, that is quite alright by me.

 

Grootfontein turns out to be not a bad spot at all and we find a very nice B&B with a bath which impresses Tharina no end. It’s our first bath of the trip.

 

[Lootch67]

Now you're in my part of the world. Trying not to give in to the temptation to drink all the bath water at once...

 

[madmike999]

this is the kind of stuff that needs to be in a book
:thumleft: :thumleft: :thumleft: