2024 Big Red Pigs in Kenya - Season 9 and Doin' Fine!

[JonW]

Well done

Great read

 

[GavinB]

Well done

Great read

Agreed.....legendary Ride Reporter!

 

[Grunder]

Love your work

 

[Clockwork Orange]

Fantastic!!!!

 

[ClimbingTurtle]

Too lekker!

That means its good....

 

[steveindar]

Fame at last you Septic Tank!

 

[Osadabwa]

SNAFU in the Valley - A cack-handed mess of my own invention.

I go down the Kedong section of the Rift Valley so frequently it feels like my backyard. Whether it’s returning from a hike on Mt. Longonot, or starting a day ride off with a bang, I usually pick the SGR access road. It’s fast, but very tricky with lots of rocks and washouts. It’s XRR country and I love it. I use it to test gear and mechanical changes, set suspension, everything.

Above: Sometimes I rip down there just for a cup of tea. You know, the hard core version of a Starbucks run.

Above: Or to head out in search of something new, chatting with folks along the way.

Above: Tilting at windmills

Above: Whatever it is, it's usually a success...

Above: Celebrated by a nice mbuzi choma and a beer before ripping back home.

Above: That is, unless the sight of a hundred illegally slaughtered donkeys doesn’t put you off… (it doesn't)

Above: And assuming the Maribou storks (first-rate scavengers) don't spook you too much (they don't).

But, things can go tits up now and again...

You’ve heard the phrase “familiarity breeds contempt”? Well, in my case, familiarity has bred complacency. All those successful rips down the SGR and back had made me lazy with regard to my kit. Yesterday I set off to Longonot as usual, hiked the mountain in record time (for me), and was chuffed to be on the move back home at 11:00AM. I aimed for the SGR and screwed it on. But this time, the universe decided to teach me a lesson....

Above: The day went from chuffed...

Above:... to kind of pissed off, but still optimistic....

Above: ...to utter defeat.

It was several hours of heat, cussing and eventually drenching rain which I present for your scrutiny and entertainment here:



Above: My ordeal in videos. The highs and lows and ultimate muppetry of the day. I can’t help but laugh! It all began so hopefully... making promises to fix the puncture in 5 minutes... oh man.

Alas... the moral of the story is clear: Just because it’s your “milk run” doesn’t mean things can’t go to shit in a hurry. So ride every ride as if you’re going somewhere wild and new. It’s kind of the AGATT mentality, but for spares and tools I guess. I dunno… we’ll see how long I subscribe to my own advice!

I shall extract the branches and leaves from my ill-fated attempt at making a mousse out of shrubbery and be back on the trail soon... with or without the TUBliss... TBD.

Oink

 

[Heimer]

I like

 

[Chrisl]

and screwed

Looks more like you were nailed!!

 

[Osadabwa]

Had a minute to take off the rear tyre and see what kind of damage my bushcraft leleshwa tree mousse did. Turns out the tyre is A-OK, so I'll whack a new tube in there and ride it until it's dead. Then I'll figure out if I go back to TUBliss.

Above: It's about the size of an elephant turd... come to think of it, ele turds would have made a better mousse!

Cheers

 

[oubieone]

Really good lessons shared here, thanks meneer.

 

[Osadabwa]

Has it been raining in Kenya? Yes, yes it has. Plenty. Did that stop us from riding? Surprisingly, no! Ordinarily, the faintest whiff of precipitation in the air or in an app will confine Panic to quarters, shivering under blankets and snuggling his dogs, but apparently if the riding hiatus is prolonged enough, even he will suspend his better judgement and agree when I say: “I gotta get out. Let’s go to Suswa overnight.” And so, we did!


Above: Just to change it up a bit, I'll dump the video here. Now you can ignore the rest of the RR!

Friday night, the plan evolved. Over a few beers and rums, we managed to convince our mate Officer Flattop van der Dawg to also throw good sense to the wind and drag his 70+ year-old uncle up the mountain in a Land Cruiser to meet up with us. Panic and I offered tents and cots and thick foam mattresses along with proper camp chairs to make it more agreeable (Uncle doesn’t much care for camping. Musses his hair too much. Scuffs his pedicure…) if they promised to bring lots of cold beer. Did I mention that Uncle was nursing 5 broken ribs sustained a week earlier from a motorbike crash in Nairobi and is still bruised as a rejected tomato? Yeah… but since both he and Dawg are Seffefrikans, and therefore born tough as old boots I knew they’d have a blast if they came along.

And adding to the party, @motobiko, an ADV Rider blogger in the middle of a multi-month (or is it year?) journey on his KTM 950 (Link to that HERE) just happened to be passing through. He and his mate Fuelgauge were on their last 2 days together, as Fuelgauge was flying out of Arusha in a day’s time. I didn’t think they’d follow through, since Fuelgauge needed to bee-line it to Arusha and return his rented Royal Enfield, but they did, and it added to the party!

Anyway, preamble over. Panic and I we were off. Not early, not late. Straight into the valley and immediately into the mud. It wasn’t everywhere, but the sticky spots were sticky. In a blink we were over on the Magadi road and found a place called Rangerous for a cup of sweet, milky tea and a mandazi to help quell the fuzzy heads from the night before.

Above: Lyrics spooling through my noodle: Pig's in the muuuud...When he tires...Pig's in Zen... Pig's in Zen...Pig is nude...Unashamed...Pig's in Zen...Pig's in Zen...

Above: Panic feeling Rangerous as a smiley-faced pineapple with buckteeth

From there, we decided to stay in the upper section of the valley to avoid the huge black cotton fields we know lie further south and sprinted for Oltepesi, marveling at how green everything was. From there, it’s usually a rip-snorting drifting blast getting to Najile, but this time it was a game of dodge-puddle that eventually descended into muddy chaos.

Above: Usually, these tracks are a drifty and dusty ripper. This time everything was green-green or muddy brown and maybe, just maybe slick under the surface, so speeds were moderated. Wise man fears the skid demon.

Above: Choose your own line

Above: So lush out there right now. Hoped to see the giraffe, but no such luck.

Above: That river is actually the road… we were on the rocky footpath above

Eventually the wet sand turned to wet feshfesh which is another word for muck. And in that muck there was a truck… a few trucks actually, and lots of guys busily trying to get them unstuck. So: Muck, Trucks, Stuck is the short version. Since they’d clogged the road, and the “road” looked like a bottomless ditch anyway, we were hugging the scrubby bush tracks and managed to make it through. In one place the mud was pretty deep... just under the airbox. It was already hours since I’d had dry feet.

Above: Panic finding a way

Above: Pretty deep in spots

Above: Deep and muddy… might need to re-pack wheel bearings. And no, Panic doesn't have his landing gear out... he's just rinsing his booties.

The mud had slowed us down considerably, so we were happy to get a bit of elevation and return to the road. It wasn’t long ago that this road was re-graded, and I was swearing up and down that there’s nothing rough to ride anymore… but after this year’s rain, it’s back to stones and bedrock. Brutal stuff… my favourite.

Above: On the road

Above: Confucious says: "No use to pick a line. Suggest to Piggy. Let her decide."

In Najile, we agreed the plan to backtrack all the way to Muturi’s Rostman for lunch. It was too early in the day to call it quits.

Above: One last boot-soaker before a nyama choma feast at Muturi’s

Above: Said feast.

At Muturis, I checked in with Dawg and Uncle as well as Motobiko and his mate who had just come in from Uganda. Motobiko’s team had embarked on an all-day loop up to Mt. Kenya to see a bit more of Kenya before Fuelgauge leaves for good, but I still wasn’t convinced they’d make it up! Dawg and Uncle were delayed, but I assumed they’d be on our heels so we scarfed our food and hit the SGR for a last hour’s braaap to the Suswa Crater campsite.

Above: Start of the lower half of the SGR…lots of weather down there… we’d been in the sun all day… would it last?

Above: Panic on his way down

Above: The black-market donkey dump… carrion eaters have left nothing but bones (they've changed since I found them almost 2 months ago: LINK to RR)

We popped out at Ewaso Kedong, grabbed some extra water and twisted the throttle wide. There was a menacing rainstorm creeping toward our campsite and we wanted to at least get our tents put up before it arrived. To our surprise, the approach road was amazing. Brand new. We were on top of the crater in what felt like 15 minutes.

Above: At camp. Dry at our spot, very wet down on the track we’d just braaaped. The others would contend with the mud when they arrived.

Panic and I were set up and resting when we got word that Dawg and Uncle were lost (Dawg was probably holding his phone upside down) and the bikers had only left Nairobi at 4pm or something. I directed both of the groups as best I could, but they were both relying on Google Maps which is about as good as a villager in the bush at directing people to remote campsites on volcano rims ffs. Eventually, the bikers arrived… soaked from coming through what Pete and I had just missed by a whisker and Kiano the camp owner sent for somebody to rescue the Land Cruiser which arrived just before dark.

It was a great night once we were all there. Good banter all around. Cold beers. Roaring fire that kept those of us with a rain cover dry and warm enough. More meat than we needed, plus spuds and roasted onions straight from the coals. The bikers hit the hay first, having already ridden 450km that day, then much later Uncle and Dawg and around midnight Panic and I turned in after we could no longer stand the steady drizzle.

I slept like the dead. Panic too... but as if he were buried at sea. Apparently, his tent is no longer water proof!

Above: Motobiko (tall, flipflops, ragged King Ropes hat) and his buddy Fuelgauge (not so tall but big personality, 70’s southern rock guitarist hair and moustache) in the morning. Fuelgauge had to ride to Arusha and be there by 5pm. I assured him he’d have no problem... ooops. We all waved him goodbye in the misty cold morning. About 11AM we checked in with him, but he was in major trouble. 100km from the TZ border, his bike conked out. Seemed like he'd lost spark. He suspected a fouled plug, but we all start kicking around worst-case scenarios: stator, coil, CDI etc. We hoped he’d get it sorted out but were too far away to be of any help, so we ignored it and went on with our day. Later on it occured to me to find out what happened... turns out the rented Enfield just had a dodgy fuel gauge and he’d run out of petrol! Funny scenario. No harm done. Figured it out quick and was on the road. We’ve all been there. Fly well, Fuelgauge! It was awesome meeting you.

Above: The camp in the morning. Moody, gloomy and cool. We all slept well, all things considered. Uncle was up only about 20 times in the night to piss and grumble and one thing and another, so it was a success!

Above: Uncle at the crater rim. I was laughing hard when I noticed the smoke had followed him yet again! All evening long he’d been playing chair roulette trying to get out of the smoke! Glad you came along, Uncle! And thanks for the beers and choma!

Above: Packed up and on the way home, Panic and I made sure Flattop van der Dawg didn’t get lost again, riding ahead of them until they were on the right track. Then we hit Ewaso for fuel at the above fetishist petrol station before meeting back up with the Seffefrikans for a kilo of mbuzi choma.

And that is that. Awesome weekend out. I say it all the time, but: Ride, ride, RIDE! Weather be damned!

 

[Elkanah]

You should tie up with Noraly (Itchy Boots) in Malawi.

 

[Osadabwa]

You should tie up with Noraly (Itchy Boots) in Malawi.

Well, Malawi's just a wee bit far... happy to say hi when she's in Kenya since we're kind of the only Honda lovers here (to help her with interesting routes, repairs, finding things etc), but I suspect she'll have a lot of others interested in showing her around. Kenya's got a pretty big group of women riders who I think she should try to meet... maybe inspire them to get off road more.

 

[Puls0nic]

Well, Malawi's just a wee bit far... happy to say hi when she's in Kenya since we're kind of the only Honda lovers here (to help her with interesting routes, repairs, finding things etc), but I suspect she'll have a lot of others interested in showing her around. Kenya's got a pretty big group of women riders who I think she should try to meet... maybe inspire them to get off road more.

Why not both.

 

[Black_Hawk]

I can't believe that I've only stumbled upon this post now.

What a awesome ride report and very nice photo's am video's.

 

[Osadabwa]

I can't believe that I've only stumbled upon this post now.

What a awesome ride report and very nice photo's am video's.

It's further evidence that forums are not an easy way to match people with similar interests. If you noticed on the first page there are links to eight other year-long compilations... many much more active than this one so far. I sometimes go back and live vicariously though my own adventures, wishing I was still out there!

 

[Black_Hawk]

It's further evidence that forums are not an easy way to match people with similar interests. If you noticed on the first page there are links to eight other year-long compilations... many much more active than this one so far. I sometimes go back and live vicariously though my own adventures, wishing I was still out there!

I agree... I'm following your adventures for quite a while already, but somehow missed this one.

I'll go and have a look at the links that you've shared.

 

[Chrisl]

Have you had big damage with the floods in Kenya? Any where you live?

 

[Osadabwa]

Have you had big damage with the floods in Kenya? Any where you live?

It's been pretty wild but like everything else it mostly effects the poor. We've had to avoid the main roads at times because they have half a meter of water in them, trees have been falling down a lot, and wall fences... some of my kit is moulding in the garage from lack of use, but nothing critical.

The guy I met a guy on ADV Rider who met us on top of Mt. Suswa in the last post who had arrived after crossing all of Africa (down West up East) on his 950 got into it a bit. It was just lashing it down here in Nairobi, and he was restless waiting for Ethiopian vehicle permit nonsense (that place is useless) so he took off down to Magadi to explore a bit. Ended up he got stranded there for several days waiting for the water level across the road to subside. Crazy for me because every time I go down there it's a desert! And Magadi town is now strictly controlled by TATA. They don't let people outside the company stay there any more (they used to have a really cool tented camp setup, but the ditched it after Covid for some reason). So he had to pitch his tent at the police post the first night...

Above: A pic he sent from the tarmac road going to Magadi. The video clip he sent with it showed water over his knees and flowing fast...

So all this sitting around is making me stir crazy. I've done all the repairs I can. I need to get out again!